Shouldn't I be HAPPY?
I don't normally receive mails, because I do not have credit cards, bills and whatever ... Letters like government chasing me after my loan is normally what I receive. Today I saw a piece of letter, I opened and there was a coupon "Buy one free one GSC ticket". However, there was no expression on my face, if this were to be 1month ago, I would happily grabbing my phone and call "Yay, let's go dating tonight, I've got a free ticket". I am not happy because I know there's no point receiving such things, when no one is there to watch with you at all. I rather sit home and watch by myself in front of the computer, even I need to stream an hour for that movie.I had a bunch of fun colleague, but they're leaving soon, resigning one by one. Although I only had three weeks with them but I know they're good people. I would only put it this way, "If the company is good, people wouldn't leave without reason". So back to my own lonely life again.
Why people all getting married so soon? T.T
After being really sick for the past week, I guess I have somehow understand this meaning "Zhen Xi Yen Qian Ren". People who's right beside me all these while, I know how much they do care for me when I really needed a shoulder or a sense of touch when I'm suffering deeply.
I don't know why, I can't sleep in peace anymore, I always have nightmare, I can't sleep, waking up at wee hours in the mid night, feeling very tired but just can't fall asleep. Mentally I'm not resting at all, I feel very tired during day time these days, I am mentally really sick. I dislike that doctor, I pay you not to get scoldings from you, when a patience tell you something, you have to believe and not question or doubt that she's lying. Doctor without ethics. There's things that I don't tell you anymore, don't you think so?
The more I hope for something, the deeper I will fall in the end, the more I love you, the greater pain I feel ... My feelings can never go wrong, when something is going on, I feel things somehow. No one else knows better than someone does, that I cannot take any form of mental distress anymore, one is enough to strike me dead. My brain will start sending the wrong signal to my body and I will fall very sick. Imagine, I have to use anxiety pills to control my mind, so that my mind can stop producing chemical reactions that damage my nerves.
Only you know ... but how well you know ... adv_username = "suzannetan"; adv_gid = "suzannetan_default"; adtype = "180x150";
Author **Suzanne** @ 10:04 PM
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