Good Night, Sweet Dreams, Take care, but where's the last one?
There used to be one last phrase out there, but it is no longer used. Why? I do not know, either I'm no longer the person that he love or saying it would kill that person. Hurt that's all I can say.
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The Day to Give Up Everything I Hold On To
The Day I feel tired with everything I hold on to,
The Day I feel like giving up upon one who I find no hope,
The Day I feel like leaving someone who has no love on me,
The Day I feel like running away from the cruel reality.
I've done .... done alot. From caring .... until giving .... until loving .... until pain why?
Why make blind promises when you don't mean them?
Why everything are DUNNO ? How could it be dunno whether you do love or don't love someone? It's either a Yes or a No. Not Dunno.
There many choices in our life, it is whether do we make it correctly but there are never Dunno.
Somethings couldn't be just left unanswered like this and run away from it, just because we do not dare to face the reality.
Life must go on, we do not stay there and keep everything unanswered. The earlier we face it, the better it would be.
Sorry to whom ever it concern but I'm really hurt ....
What are you waiting for ? It is so obvious that no means no? Why couldn't you turn back to someone that love you instead? Really have to wait until everything is gone then only regret?
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Pain
Pain is what I feel inside my heart
As if a knife is stab right into my heart
I had been patience all the while
I had kept quite all the while
Song dedicated to her but not to me
Tears start pouring down from my eyes
I am always the one to blame
When things does not goes as he wishes
He would not care about my feelings
As I am just a little toy to play with
To be thrown away when it is old and boring
Chances of being love again is a myth
I wish I could sleep in my fairtytale land
Living in my sweet dreams with no sadness
Walking along the beautiful beach with white sand
Enjoying the cool breeze with joy and hapiness
I had done every single thing to make you happy
Somehow you do not learn to appreciate
One day you will find that I am gone
I will no longer be here to care for you
Time does not wait for people
You had promised to cover you own blanket
I know you no longer need me
My presence would bring you sadness
Then I rather leave and not come back
Deep pain I feel to know the one I love had someone else in his heart
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The Day Where Everything Changes
The day where everything changes, I know
I have to move on in my life I have to seek one that is worth to shed my tears on I should stop bearing the pain in my heart there's nothing more I can do other than to give up the heart would no longer be mine the feeling is no longer the same anymore it won't work even I sleep through the day each tears that fall would only be irritation my love had turn into total frustrationI kept telling myself, I need to grow-up, I need to be more responsible but part of me still wants to stay playful. Laughter ... which is something I've lost long ago. When was the day where I truely laugh as whatI've felt inside my heart, I do not remember.
Roads are filled with torns, it cut my flesh when I walk pass it, pain I feel. Scars would remain through out my life. There are times where I would tripped and fall so hard while walking through the road but I still have to stand up and continue walking until the end.
The one you love would never turn back to you, an empty heart, filled with sorrows.Having cramps, sleepy and tired, would post some photos when I get them.
Isn't she cute ? My little cousin. She's always cute.
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Meaningful song
Rascal Flatts - Bless The Broken Road I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
If you would change not to become yourself
If you would purposely adapt to what the person like
If you couldn't be like normal
If you purposely follow what the person likes to do
Think, do you really love that person ?
Sleepless nights, I've been trying hard to sleep. Am I really very sick ?
I've walked through the 19 years of life, went through many obstacles and now I can't even get a good night sleep ?
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The moment when I glance upon the screen
Closing my eyes with both hand after clicking "View Results". Peeping whether is there any N anot. N = FAIL . AH ! Tak ada ... slowly remove both of my hand and glace upon the screen. WAH, I got 50/100 for Commercial Law ?!! Hampir-hampir fail, but thank God for letting me pass at the border line. He sure know that I can't afford to fail. If I did I won't be able to take my Year2 paper Company Law. Seriously, I feel so blessed ...
Other results are fine ... didn't expect that my Management marks can be higher than Marketing. Abit don't make sense, it's like I've never touch my Management book before while I've always studied Marketing through out the whole semester, so was abit dissappointed here. Yet Accounting result are not release. I guess we have to check at the college notice board for this one.
This in concern of some "irritating" people who thinks she's so smart and wise in everything that happen around her. Quote "oh I've been in a relationship with him for so many years ... he won't do things behind me" - childish, grow-up please.
Funniest JOKE I've ever seen, a childish girl I've ever come through. Sad to say that someone that's cheating you, is standing right beside you yet the poor girl doesn't know. Bet she doesn't even know about the Genting trip and everything that happened within. Look now your girl is the one who come find trouble, this time I ain't shuting up. Told ya to take good care of her if u want me to keep quiet about everything. Don't forget, you are the one that threaten me that day.
" Behh ... behh ... " do u hear horse ? I hear .
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Craps
*cough cough* *sneeze sneeze* getting worse today. Had been sneezing like 20 times when I was watching Chronicles of Narnia in the cinema. I bet people will say this, "Aiseh, stop sneezing la, cannot hear-la, jerms all around eyer." I continue to sneeze like that until now. Right eye also swallon. This is really horrible.
Poor brother, going for National Service Year 2006. Hope that he'll be located in Selangor.
Does 19 and 20 makes a BIG difference? It does right ... like when you buy things in Supermarket, realise the prices are always 19.99 , 29.90 does it sounds cheaper compare to 20 and 30? This is the trick of selling and promotion. Somehow customer would think that it's cheaper even it's only 1 cent or 10 cent different. So be smart consumer.
Anyway, now I'm 19 and 20 I'm gonna be next year, it sounds nicer in 20. Sounds like teenager in 19 whilst YOUNG ADULT in 20. The trick of numbers. 20 means I have to be more matured? more responsible? sounds abit scary-la. Anyhow it's time to grow-up. Same for the others, time to be more wiser when it comes to making decision. Once a wrong decision, no turning back that's it.
I wonder izzit so complicated to be in a relationship ? I've always been the one giving out but in the end I will have a bad ending. Can anyone tell me why ? Why am I always being rejected for no reasons? Why must he always fall in love with the same girl ? PAIN .. a kinfe had just stabbed into my heart and torn my heart into pieces.
Notes : Semester 2 results will be realease on this coming Monday. Gosh, I'm worried sick about my Commercial Law.
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Sick
Had been snezzing for the whole afternoon, non-stop. Tissue papers stucked to my nose. *Ha-qiu* there goes again, sigh. I don't wanna be sick. It's not my will to be sick or not, I can't choose, why keep blaming me when I fall sick ? Instead, if it would be another person, words of caring would be offered.
Had a great time with Joey, Kenneth and Ah Boon at Red Box The Curve. I can't stop laughing when Kenneth started to sing, Joey's bf. He really has a great voice, but he purposely sing until .. *ahem*, hard to describe. Envy, both Joey and her bf, so sweet when they fight.
Guy said, " Yesterday she called me then I said very sleepy want to sleep liao." Then I hang up.
After 2 mins, Ring Ring, Girl called again, "U really want to sleep already ah?"
I better stop here before Joey start complaining.
Hungry, but don't feel like eating, this is exactly what I feel now. I guess I have to start taking those medicine again. Sleepless nights, it's so difficult for me to fall asleep. Even so I'll be in the "light sleep" mode. Where The Star describe it as easily awaken. So my night was, awaken ... trying to fall asleep, sleep, awaken again ... continue ... until morning.
Is there anymore things left to be said ? One word, heartbroken.
there's another one in his heart and it's the same one again, do u know how pain is that?Genting trip, anyone? Planning to go on begginging of January. Should be taking up this package,
Fun,fun,fun at Theme Park Hotel.
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I can no longer stand this
Fell like bursting up and start
screwing scolding up people. Lies and lies within one. Everything is just like "make-up" aww, you look so beautiful in make-up but whenever u take it off, gosh it's terribly ugly. Flirtatious, a grammer I would use to describe. One would never realise while they are doing such things.
I've been feeling sick the whole day with slight fever, no idea what's wrong at all. *cough cough* been coughing since yesterday evening when I woke up. Joints aching, just feel so tired. Feel like sleeping through my days and forget about everything. Things that had troubled me for weeks, things that had changes within oneself for weeks.
But nothing does need your concern since I belongs no where in your heart. All I can say is pain ... deep in pain
What had changes? I would say many. Because of what? Same old story that repeat again and again.
I should had known, in his heart there's only a place for her, never it will be me, I'm just plain stupid. I wouldn't say I'm perfect because no humans on earth are perfect. But I do have feelings, hurting me again and again sounds fun and interesting. As I've said, there's no need to appreciate me since I'm always the easy one to get. I mean the soft hearted one.
If I'm given a chance I would leave for Australia for studies. Sad to say that I'm too dumb to apply for scholarship. What should I do ? I wanna go there with Yoke May and Li Shan.
This phrase catches my eye when I glimpse through someone's blog. "What hurts more than losing you, is knowing you're not fighting to keep me." Interesting. Does it make sense ?
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Someone teach me, how to continue
Had lunch and window shopping with my long time no see friend, Joey. Thanks for the treat and also the present, I really appreciate it. We were chating about our life all the while from I met her at 12PM until we went home. Also thank you for sharing so many things with me and listening to my boring stories. I have seen that my dear friend had really grown into a mature young lady going on 20 soon. Hope that everything for you would be fine too.
Someone teach me, how to continue this walk, walk of life. Life has been kinda messy since my holiday start, day by day just pass me by.
As I said many claimed that girls are very sensitive to feelings around them. I'm definitely a girl, therefore, I also could feel that something isn't right there. The heart to love is no longer the same, it has faded, to another person. The pain within is unbearable, crying silently at night not to let anyone hear, pushing myself so hard not to think. What I can see with my own eyes, feel with my own heart, I really hope that it wouldn't be true. Giving too much would turn to be frustration and irritation, not giving would turn to be not caring. Which of which would be right?
Someone don't get what I meant, so I'll go straight to the point, the one I love had some other people in their heart. He'll never change, never learn to appreciate until he lost it. I'm just a toy, forever will be one, to play with and to be thrown away as soon as the person get bored with it.
Those he couldn't get, he would strive hard to get it and the more he couldn't get the more he dying to own them. Those that had give with true heart without asking for return, would always turn to be a inferior one.
I'm the INFERIOR.
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Four macho guys
Met this four macho guys with fit body wearing thight fit singlets. First thing saw them came in straight away *faint*. Haha, sorry over exagarated. I was staring at this dark green shirt guy and *opps* he's looking at my way, maybe my friends and I was really laughing too loudly and speaking too loundly saying "Wah, this dark green shirt guy handsome-nya." I quickly look away and pretended we were enjoying our "roti tissue". The second time I look and the blue shirt macho guy were looking at our table again. Then, I decided not to look over there again. Well they are definitely not locals, they look like some sort of Eurasian people.
I guess I should stop about the macho guys before some people get pissed at me. AH, too bad I did not take any photos of them, aish regreted should had taken photo with my camera phone. *Enough-la*.
However, there's always a however ... Macho guys would turn old after some days, their muscles might become fats one day, while handsome guy also would turn old one day with their face filled with wrinkles. "looks doesn't really count, what matters the most is the inside". For me what matters the most is still the inside, the real person inside, the soul within. Looks is not everything,
"Don't judge the book by it's cover".
Handsome guys might capture my attention for awhile, maybe a crush, but never would turn to be the one I would want to spend the rest of my life with. Look, the risk of having a handsome boyfriend/husband, the chance of losing them is extremly high. - quoted from some friend of mine.
Canticles singers were amazing, that's for sure. Got the preview night ticket from Tze Liang. Thanks alot I really enjoyed it.
Signing off now, tired and sleepy, better catch a good night sleep before meeting up with Joey tomorrow.
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Behold the feelings deep inside my heart
Finally I've told someone about something that's kept deep right inside my heart. I felt relieve as I can't tell this to anyone, as in really No One or I might get
slash wack. To one who betrayed me, one day the truth will show, with or without me telling it out. I have nothing against u anymore, we are still friends.
Living an uncertain life. It has been like that since a while. It is already bad enough that I've realise business is not really what I'm interested in while I have deep interest in things to do with creativity. Should had joined mass communication at first, why didn't I do so? It's too late to decide now, I've stepped on a 3Years Bachelor Degree with no point of return, I have to continue walking.
I felt very unsecure all these days. Felt that I've been walking a path that me, myself don't even know where it is leading me to. All the things that has passes by me all these years, seems to be blurrish inside my memory. An certain road that will or will not take me to succeed or failure. Everyday I feel like lying down on my bed and not wake up to face the bright day light.
Moreover, I felt that I'm holding a hand that will slip of mine anytime. It is like I've step on the "hot and cold" game. When I walk through my step by step, day by day, it changes. It would be some days that I feel "hot" some days that I felt extremly "cold". I felt the total ignorance when it's extremly cold. "When I'm cold I do not need a jacket to KEEP me warm instead I need a person that WILL give me warm." Maybe I'm very sensitive, but many claims that girls are always sensitive to what is happening around them.
I've always wonder, am I always placed at the last for everything? As in some friends they won't call u up unless they need u or something ( It is just an example, not to anyone ). Not only friends, sometimes even the closest person would do that to you. I mean they never thought of you, of how you feel instead they think for other people even more than you.
Getting bored of the wonders of my life? Pictures always make blogs look more interesting so here goes the past events of this few months ....
Family Potrait, I mean friends potrait
The 6 "chun" girls *cough cough*, wonder where's Jia Zheng, the Semenyir Nortingham girl
Ganti her with that yellow thingy under my head
My dear Shu Chuen
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Family Potrait, I mean friends potrait
The 6 "chun" girls *cough cough*, wonder where's Jia Zheng, the Semenyir Nortingham girl
My dear Shu Chuen
