Mission Impossible Completed: 12 Hours of Company Law Lecture
Well I've not been updating my blog due to lacking of time where I only get to sleep 5 hours every night. Finally the 12 hours of Company Law lecture with 4 hours per day lecture has come to an end. It's total horror where u need to sit at Auditorium for 4 hours straight and listening to "boring" law lectures while striving hard to stay awake all the time. Those KDU students would know the environment, lighting effects and surrounding of auditorium will eventually make us all fall asleep even during exams. Image that u'll see your white paper turn to yellow, purple nails and weird skin colour. Well, yeah I've been spending hald of my time "fishing", eyes half close, as the lecture start at 9AM until 1PM everyday.
Congrats to those that had completed their journey-
Shan, Tai Lou, Didi and me, the reward of Tim Tam biscuits all the way from Australia was not able to cover those time we've sacrifice, but I believe passing this paper would be the greatest accomplishment of all.
This week is a total nightmare, I'm awaiting holidays to come yet there are many things awaits to be completed.
- Simulation 3 (Tomorrow)
- Marketing D&P Marketing Plan
- Organisational T&B Group Report
- Company Law test 2
-Things I'm planning but cannot be tell here *yet*
-Go 1Utama to search for things
So many tasks, yet so lil time. What am I gonna do? Can I have more time instead ...
Well, lately, everyone is talking about leaving for Australia, next year to Perth Murdoch University. I'm not sure whether will I have any chances to get there or even step in Australia once for my graduation. I am not going to study International Management, No way, I had enough of it. I want to take other subjects that are offered in Perth, no boring subjects like this. Advertising production is my area of interest, as there are much creativity involve and I'll enjoying instead of suffering if I get to take this subject.
Wish to enter the top 10 for the iFeel girl search this week, the amount of cash prize is too attractive, as I need cash so much these days
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A long week of holiday had just come to an end
This post would be a longest post of all as I'll write things that had taken event during my miserable one week break.
First Murdoch gave us a break, but on the other hand thought of it, it's not a break at all. We've got 2 group assignments that awaits us to complete. Organisational T&B and Marketing D&P. Both equivalent high standard report.
I will start with this ... subheading.
A Dream so Near yet seems So Far
My dream to study over at Australia, seems to near when I was chatting along with my coursemate, we've even plan on what food to cook or where to dicuss our assignment in the campus or buying those pretty winter clothings. Yet it seems so far, where everyone in family disagree about it due to finiancial issues. Well, the least I hope now is I could just spend 1 semester which is half a year over there.
Actually it would made a good experience as I'll have to learn to take care of myself in all ways. Secondly, many other units are offered over in Murdoch University, Perth but not here in KDU, Malaysia. If I choose to complete my year3 here it means, I'll be grant no choice over the units I want to take, but if over there I'll be able to choose with a wide variety of E-Commerce and other subjects which are not offered here. Another problem would be that many of my coursemate will be leaving next year, which means I'll be left alone here. *What am I gonna do with all group work?* (The good partners are all gone!!!). Practically I guess those left here, I would not be able to make out a perfect group, where I am having now. I'll miss u Shan, May and others. Please, God, if you could grant me a chance to further my studies at Perth.
Matter of fact, YES i do wish to go to Perth alot, very much. In the mean time, I wouldn't miss my bf so much right, if we do make it there together. *Worry over one that does not how to take good care of himself*, sigh. I'll also be left alone, as all my close friends will be leaving. I do not want to take subjects like Changing Economies of Asia, I want e-commerce, which is only offered in Perth. Yes e-commerce is interesting in my perspective.
May's Birthday @ Redbox, The curve today, Love you gals
Bad Experience from Maxis yet with Barbarians Around
First I was sending a sms to a friend regarding somethings. Then I do not know how come this sms ended up in a barbarian 017 phone. Note the sms I sent is to a 012 phone number. This person with no manness, replied me "Who a U, what U wan, Who is This U tell Me", then I replied politely that it was Maxis fault and I called Maxis service centre after that.
After that, this babarian called me and scolded me why did I sms him (I guess he do not understand English, uneducated ppl tend to be rude, and no manness). So I was thinking logically, I already said it was Maxis fault and I replied you bcos u were asking me a question, HELLO ?!? So, I insist to speak in english explaning everything yet this babarian just did not understand what was I talking and impatiently answered "U blah la .. blah" and hang up. These is TOTAL nonsense, I got scolding bcos of Maxis faulty service, thanks alot Maxis.
The next thing that happened next morning is the wife of the babarian, tried calling me and sms-ing me trying to find out who am I and what's my purpose of "kacau-ing" his husband (EXCUSE ME? I kacau ur husband? A Malay? It's the last things I would consider in my life? Yucks?). She was pretending to be a sales person when she sms and called me asking me whether can I speak Malay (I can but I just don't want, why can't u speak English to me, instead of me speaking your preference) then she start talking nonsense. So I got mad and hung up on her, I am so lazy to listen upon nonsense. NONSENSE
Then she came sending me this sms "This is warning from me stop calling my husband.i kill you.understand.i dont ho a u". I was like ?!! I didn't even do anything forgoodness sick?!! It was Maxis fault and it's u babarians that have no brains to understand. Wait I did not even call your husband at all!?!?! What's the matter with u babarians.
iFeel Girl Search
Last Friday, as I was walking pass cafeteria, my college had this roadshow and one girl came to me asking me to join this competition. I actually rejected it due to the previous horrible experience from Ginvera, cheating over me. But the girl was like pulling my hand, please la join la, come la. Eventually I do not know why I went to the booth.
Pros- The organisers are Digi, Astro, My Fm which are renown companies.
Cons- Why must be sms voting at the 1st round then only judges ?
Actually I was attracted to it's prices where top 12 will be able to get RM1000 worth of prices.
Link to astro website on the voting,
click here. Select Week 3 page 3. I'm somewhere there.
For those who are kind enough to give me a sms vote,
Type IGS 31049 (IGS then space first 31049)
send to 32999
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A knife being stab right into my heart
The title describe how I feel right now. The feeling of one sharp knife being stab right into my heart where the pain is unbearable, where the blood would not stop flowing as where my tears would not stop falling. I've been patient, all the while, all the time. I've no longer could hold my feeling of being patient anymore, there's really limits. If one would know how much he had done that causes so much pain on me, when only one will find out? I guess never since I'm always the one bearing all pain from what one has done.
One would not come to you when he is sad and down, instead head to another girl instead. Is one really treating you as a girlfriend? Much pain and impact that has really brought to me
(1st knife stab into my heart). You are only needed when one really need you in something. One will only tell problems and confess all toubles out to another girl
(2nd knife stab into my heart). Now, I do question, where do I really stand in one heart. One even complains to buy you a sweet that only cost 1.20 where one don't have money. Where one does not complain when he's going to spend another girl dinner
(3rd knife stab into my heart). Well, am I really worth less than a sweet that barely cost 1.20? Or well some other girl is worth to spend more than one me because I'm just some old junk. One trying to hide all things and lie to you
(4th knife stab into my heart). Faithful and sincere, I guess these word would never appear in my personal dictionary nor in the partner my life.
I've been questioning myself. Why do I need to do so much yet I know nothing will be appreciated in the end? I really wish I could throw away everything I'm planning to do now, Ok fine just throw all away!! including that piece of potrait that would not worth even a cent, I'm gonna burnt it, YAY !!(Even setting up a store to draw, people would pay me). I'm worthless in the eyes of the non-beholder, yet nothing that is done will be appreciated.
Every question I asked, I'll expect no answer from it. As if I want a answer, I guess my tears would had filled a bucket, or my throat would be burnt out for asking question with no one answering. Yes I'm terrible, as what one said. Terrible for being a stupid girl all the while. Many would say I DESERVE this, many would even take it as my fault. Want to know why? They claimed that I'm stupid for being faithful all along this years. Now I understand why, so many people rather choose not to be faithful as in the end they'll get themselve hurt.
4 knives stab right into my heart. I guess my heart would be stop beating, as it could not stand any longer. My heart is DEAD. Blood that flows, scars that remain. Love is so sweet, yet so hurting. Choose to love, prepare to be hurt. One will blame another on faults and problems. The most hurting part would be one have another girl in one heart. Told you, my heart is dead.
I find no one, I seek no one. "Pillows are my best friends, they are my shoulder when I need them". This is the only thing I have to cry on. I shall sleep and not wake up to face the day.
Pain? It's already until the stage where nothing can be used to describe the pain I feel right inside my heart.
MY HEART IS DEAD !!
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A simple word call Love
God's love to us is unlimited, yet it's so easy for us to understand, how much He loves us.
but how come, to love between humans are so difficult to interpret, yet it's hurtful at times?
The love God has for us are so different from the love we get from human beings. He'll forgive us for everything we've done, yet does human really do so? Are you willing to forgive anyone that has betrayed or had done many mistakes from the past including friends and family? I guess for me, I do need alot of courage, if I'm able to do so in my life.There are jealousy, anger, betrayal and many more things that occur between humans. These things really had made many lifes suffered. I guess there are none human that won't feel these kind of feelings including myself unless they are (Hmm... u know) sent to Tanjung Rambutan at Ipoh. Sometimes, it's good to be part of them too, so one will have to memories yet no feelings about things happening around them. LOL, not practical, I was just kidding.
End of topic. I had no idea why did I brought it up at all. Was actually busy doing some other stuffs. ( Keyboard so sticky, filled with glue, Oh no sure kena scold from Aunt)Finally, my one week break has come. Yes I would say finally, FINALLY ! After like thousands of assignments and exams (Exaggerated). Being a Second year degree student is much worse than first year, assigments and exams are twice as hard as the first year paper. Sleeping time has been cut into half, of course by sleeping at 3AM everyday. Yes I'm LMQ - Last Minute Queen, I study and do my assignments last minute due to mua laziness...
Due to lack of sleeping time, I always fell asleep in class or I'll be super blur. Then my lecturer will start picking on me, "Suzanne, are you listening? Do u know what I'm talking about? U remember ?". Yes she knows I'm half asleep in her class.
Anakin's Episod III lightsaber.
But still I love Mace Windu, purple Lightsaber, It looks superb.
I wonder how those manufacturer are able to scale down the lightsaber where it looks exactly the same as the real one. A minature is only be 45% of the real one.
Smart way of doing business, since many people could not afford for the real one which cost about 2K, they scale it down and sell it as a collection especially for those Star Wars fans. Well, afterall it's not cheap also after they scale down, LOL.
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The word called Appreciate
As one feels lonely and sad, I've never failed to be there,When one face problems, I'll never leave one aside.As I've said, I will not only share joy with you,But also sorrows, I am willing to take a share of your burden.The days filled with darkness, I will lighten it with a torch,The days filled with brightness, are yet to come.I will try my best, not to let one down,You shall never give up in all circumstances, as I will be right beside you.
Afterall I would not ask for a repay for anything,
a smile from you would be enough to brighten my day.
I will stay beside you all the time,
until the day comes where you don't need me anymore.
Apprciate might be a strong word. As when you say to one, "Thank you so much, I really appreciate what you've done for me". Eventually the person would feel a sense of being appreciated. Yet I guess action plays the most important part of all. As the sentence goes "Action speak louder than words" -
I guess it's kinda true afterall.Will one be appreciated after all things that are yet to be done, striving harder, just hoping it is worth after all, seeking for words and action of comfort from one. - Question mark
I've just finished my mid-sem test, trying to relax now but seems that I can't. Still striving hard to find a perfect present yet it is so hard. Decided not to buy the Hasbro lightsaber, since one does not like it. Somwhow I tend to think that a birthday would not be complete without a present. It feels like I'm owing something or left out something in such important day.
Sometimes I do felt that, I really do have enough from the past. The best desciptor would be "Enough is Enough" and "I stand no more". But why the past seems to repeat again and again all the while? Why the glass never seems to be broken down, not even a single piece of it? Sometimes I do wish that I could run away from reality and sleep in my dreams forever.
Foot-notes
- I am so dead, I did not manage to finish my 2 essays in 1 hour, this is total nonsense, I'm not a computer nor a robot, it's impossible to do so.
- Both group report for Marketing D&P and OTB is coming up soon. Marketing Plan? Oh No, I don't even have a single clue about it. OTB? Yet another million source report thanks to Dr.KFC
These are the days where digital camera does not exist,blur photos are taken using web camera.
These are also days where I do not have any pimples, sigh I miss those days.
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A Sense of belonging
What does it mean by a sense of belonging? I guess to my definition it can be said that when you are with a group of people, you feel that you are "in" that group where things they talked about you'll be interested to listen or laugh along. No sense of belonging can be define as, when you at one place or with a group of people, you just feel akward and felt that you do not belong to that group.
Well yeah, the true me is shown when I'm with my bunch of secondary mates where I crushed the crab shell like a mad women in the middle of the restaurant. Everyone was laughing as I was the one who's wearing the most decent clothes as in white skirt and pink top. They are telling me,
"Oh, Suzanne ur so totally opposite from the person u're outside". Hmm I do wonder, I can be rough in the sense of playing sports, sorry guys I'm not those "Siu-Jie" and "Si-Man"type.
Hit me with the ball, I smash it back on your face (Not so serious la). Scary huh ? My secondary mates would know more about that. Where the days we used to play basketball with guys (even the teacher don't allow but you think I do care?). Guys said why I always hit them or scracth them with my long nails, so they see me come they'll straight away cabut. Ask the Melati and Keruing or PBSM guys. The last time I laugh until I cry was on Shu Chuen's Waja with the Aik Jin making some weird noise beside me.
The other thing is that I always take out my shoe in class =P. Eeee I just can't stand the sticky feeling of my feet. Well secondary times are gone but I still have times where we sit at the library and start laughing at joke over "one person" claiming that he's fat and gay.
"Drink more water can lose weight" - Li Shan theory. I miss going Red Box, where times I listen to Li Shan rap and May's sweet voice while the twins will be singing "Rong Shu Xia" with silent. Well in conclusion, I'm a total different person from inside. I can be crazy and all but it's all depends on the situation and people around me.-
"Do Not judge the book by it's cover."
Now is 2.30AM in the morning, I am supposed to be studying my Marketing Developemtn&Planning, I mean I was studying just now. Just that there are thought coming into my mind. Well I was wondering, I really took the initiative in doing many things from small lil things that are not visible until things where we can see through our eyes. Are these being appreciate? Or did the person really did see or feel about what am I doing. How comes things that are done by friends are always more precious and being appreciated?
-There's a theory saying that you'll never know how important is something to you unless you lose it. - Quite true
- There's also a theory saying that things or should I say things that are done by a person that are harder to get will be appreciated more compare to those that we tend to think that "Oh, that's what I'm supposed to get or I deserve it". - If it's so I guess I should do less or save it for others
Take a deep breath. Forget about everything that troubles me. Just do what I've plan no matter whether izzit being appreciated anot because afterall I've done my best after that I've got nothing to be regret about. 3 AM, I better stop writting nonsense now and get into bed.
I'm so excited about OTB individual group report tomorrow. Pray hard that I'll achieve good grades.
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A Piece of Glass Between Us
Just because of some words ... or should I say some sentences instead revealed in a somewhat typical situation which in returned had created a big misunderstading, or well it might be reveal on purpose which I do not know what the purpose is which had causes a serious damage on a relationship. Well, I wouldn't say things if I do not mean it. I won't go around telling guys "I love you" when I do not really mean it because I know there's a limit as it'll hurt those who thought I really did meant what is uttered out from my mouth.
A piece of glass where is seems to be invisible between us as we are able to see each other through the transparent glass. This piece of glass is located in the middle of us which had held us back from stretching our hand out to the one opposite us. It's invisible but a solid object that had stopped us or even blocked us from being united. Many conflicts and problems had arises from there as we're unable to understand or tolerate each other more due that that blocking piece of glass. I was once trying to smash down that piece of glass but I've always failed or should I said I've failed numerous times.
Even I was once succeed in smashing the glass somehow it had built up again and again. Once I thought it was my fault but slowly I realise it was due to some circumstances which is not on to my control. The process of it had causes much damage to my personal life which had changed me totally. That piece of glass is something I really do want to remove between us but without the compromise of other factor would it be able to work out? I doubt so.
I've done much to the extend of putting much effort in doing each and little small things that in return will make him happy in life. Spend much brain juice of thinking what would made the best present ever. In total I've created or bought 6 presents but did it really made him happy or did he really appreciate for what I've done all this while? If yes, I guess I would get an immediate call but it is not until I opened my mouth to ask about it. Well, I guess I shall not say more on what I've done as this would only create a sense of guiltiness or people might think that I'm doing just because I wanted something back from it. But my answer is no. I didn't wanted anything back from it.
I'm not perfect. I'm not complete. I'm not whole. What made me near perfect is having you in my life. A piece of glass that is between us had torned us apart for many times. Even myself do not know how to mend my own broken heart yet I do know how to mend a torn hole in the shirt. It's near 3AM, I need to catch some sleep soon for my simulation tomorrow as I'm taking up a strong role there. Will I be strong tomorrow? I do not know, maybe with the help of my friends. I just want to smash that piece of glass now. Stressful, doubtful, being a fool.
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Attitudes of Typical Malaysian
My first word would be "Sigh", why do we have these kind of people in the country. This is how the story goes. Yesterday since our OTB class ended early, so May, Shan and I decided to have our lunch outside college because we already jelak with the same old college food. So we went to the DJ Pizza Hut for makan.
We were happily chating all the while, when one women and his bf *I think* came into the restaurant and started staring at us especially me ( Do not ask my why, I really don't know ). She was staring non-stop since she started eating untilthe moment of stepping out of the restaurant. She gave me that "Cuin" look outside the glass window of the restaurant. I was like *What the ????* what did I ever did to you. Instead of getting angry, we decided to pursuade ourselve that "Of course la, she can't stop staring because she jealous we all so much more prettier than her mah". Not to forget that this typical "couple" had also gave the Pizza Hut staff a hard time, as if like the whole world owe them something, showing the long face and giving that kind of look.
Fine, enough with Pizza. So we headed back to college for Company Law class. May decided not to park too far from college due to recent robbery cases happening around KDU. She drove around and round the college for about 5 times, still failed to find one parking spot. So decided to park along the roadside to wait for parking space in the college premise. After realising that we kinda block the road, May gave signal to indicate that she want to leave but suddenly there is this Uncle just blocked us and started scolding.
The uncle was shouting "You all this stupid KDU student, blocking the road all the time, making us residents here blabla ...". So May talked back in a polite way by saying, "Sir, I already gave signal that I want to leave, can you please give way." He replied, " All because of u all so bitchy ...". This is seriously too much, we're like WT?! We never even did anything wrong ?! I beh tahan him and scolded "Shutup idiot !!". Then this uncle drove off and start shouting to KDU's security "*^*!&*&*#&)&!&&)!", The securities was like "HUH? What nonsense are u talking about".
- We found out that he live nearby by locating his stupid BIG sliver NAZA mpv. Our mood were all spoiled by this Rude and Unreasonable citizen of Malaysia. - We were thinking if he were to be Rich why stay near KDU, just shift ur house to somewhere else la and the college was here for more than 20years, why TODAY u come and scold us? Super Tul*nEnough of ranting people that ruined our mood.
I was so close on being late for my Company Law exam at 8.30AM this morning. I overslept until 8AM was rushing like mad woman this morning. I'm tired, exhausted from exams and assignments, I need to get some sleep. My definition of sleep is only 5 to 6 hours per day. I need more I really do need or else I'll fall sick easily.
- Simulation 2 is up on Thursday, CEO, oh my dear CEO, u need to be calm and cool towards Allan Willis (Hsien Loong please don't piss me off would you) - Figuring out how to slam my fist on the door cause my useless son that only knows how to drink and womanise girls around him -What motivate The Bayview Hotel resort staffs, interview all of them *Hou sui dou gon sai* (cantonese) -Need to be so dramatic and not to be driven away cos Hsien Loong can't stop pissing me off everytime
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Can I stop growing from now ...
As we grow many things changes in our life ...
When we were young we did not need to worry about many things in our life as we do not understand what the adults are talking about
Now the more older we get, the heavier responsible we have on our backs, the more burden to carry on our shoulder
The higher level of eduction we are at the more money we have to pay (Murdoch stop increasing exam fees PLEASE) ,
Do we actually need to pay for primary school fees ? I guess only books and some little fees
Once when we were still baby, we are one bunch of innocent babies who only knows how to cry for milk or when we shit or when we are not well
Now for sure we will have to learn how to be independance, crying is no longer useful for demands
When we were young we were taken care by those who love us dearly
As we grow we need to be apart with those we cherish dearly
When I did not know what is Marketing and Management, I do not care what is call customer rights
It is for sure that if I continue to insert more knowledge of Marketing and Management into my brain, I'll demand the full service one customer should get, but I love ARTS alot
Assignment after assignment, exam after exam ... this is what we called degree life
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