Susubear Little Inn: January 2006

Seeking My True Self

Friday, January 06, 2006

A dream given up

As I've went past those three days .... I truely see no hope I truely understand that I have to choose to let go. Doubts are all filled in my head for one that will not hold my hand, will there still be any journey with him ahead? Waiting for someone that would not dare to take a look at me with his eyes, I only see him running apart from me .... further and further from reality.

I'm glad for May that had found her dreams back. The one she's longging for has returned to her. I see joy within my friend again, I truely feel happy for both of them to find their love once again. What I've seen in her reflects on myself, just that her dreams is accomplished while mine would be a dream given up.

Will the one ever feel the pain I feel within?
Will the one ever care about my feelings within ?
Will the one ever wipe my tears again ?
Will the one ever come back to me again ?

Seems that every question I've asked, I wouldn't have any answer from it. Till then I really see no hope within this relationship. The one had never been the same again since that day he choosed to love another one. How long more could I wait ? I would only said this is a dream given up as I've cried for nights but no one is there to wipe my tears.

Seeking comfort ....
This is what I've told myself .... I've gotta stand up and walk my own path leaving everything that has no hope behind .... I deserve to be happy, I deserve to be treated better off by someone else .... He will never love you, Suzanne .... the one to be in his heart is never to be you .... you stand no place and no chance .... why don't you just walk away from him ....

Pain I feel in my heart for someone I've love so dearly but he wouldn't feel a single pain on me

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