Susubear Little Inn

Tired of ME ? or Tired of Life ?

Wondering what's wrong with my life lately. It's always filled with ups and downs. Thinking back it was only one week plus ago I was so happy. Wait ... aren't I always the "cheerful" girl infront of everyone? Yea perhaps deep what I felt deep inside my heart was not the same as reality.

Life of degree is filled with so many never-ending assignments and exams. Loads of stress are pouring upon me yet there's still many other things adding upon my life. Worries ... I know I MUST pass all my final exams. Though all the subjects offered in this semester are extremly tough ones. Thick law, marketing and management text books I have. Loads of words I have to memorise or understand them in order to answer a 5 pages long essay during the finals. *Scream* Yet there is still one more management report to be completed after my holidays.

Cheer, I'm gonna be 19 soon. Don't really like being 18. Wonder how would I celebrate my 19th birthday this year? Alone? Maybe ... There's no many friends that really remember or even care though I know there is a few does. How about a candle light dinner? Lol ... "Stop dreaming Suzanne, wake up ! "

I only wonder or should I say worry instead? Why things around me changes so fast? I really hope that the past would not repeat again. I really had enough of everything. The few week of tough life I've went through with eating disorder had haunt me for life. Pray that no bad events would cause it not happen to me again. I might not be as lucky as the previous one.

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Author **Suzanne** @ 10:13 PM Comments: 0

Presentation Day

It was my presentation day on Principles of Management on last Tuesday. I only slept for 5 hours that day and was forced to be awake by 6.30am in the morning. I was supposed to meet my group member at 7.30am at cafeteria but I was abit late ( Tai Lou must be complaining : This Suzanne always also late 1 ... ) haha just kidding. We reherse our presentation at 2nd floor for twice before we went on action for the real one.

Class started. Mr.Sudarsan " Good morning students, anyone of you want to present first? ". Everyone is like looking at each other wondering who would want to go first and the be the "bait". My group voluntered since there is no other group willing to go ahead. I was the first and last speaker. Anxious ? A little perhaps ... after so many presentations I kinda got used to it compare to the 1st time I presented which my heart was jumping so fast till almost fell out from my body.

Brainstorm!" but how am I supposed to answer his questions when I don't even knowFinally, done with our presentation. Lecturer start to bombared us with so many weird weird questions *open eyes widely* staring at him, wondering what to answer. Among all four group members, he kept staring at me. I was thinking " Suzanne, come on think! Answer! what is he asking about? *faint*. I just firgure out some relevant answer and said it out *gasp*.

Anyway, May brought her camera and we took some shots after our presentation. Now I present you May, Shan and me. AH one more, Mr.Chan HL.

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Author **Suzanne** @ 12:06 AM Comments: 0

I'm just a tiny as a sand

Life is so stressful nowadays. Finals is coming in 3weeks time yet there's still many upcoming presentation and reports to be handed up. Many things are still unsolved and complicated. Are things better in a way that it is left unanswered? Wish to let what I felt deep inside my heart out but I will never succeed of doing it. If I do so, I might lost something precious to me? or causes a horrible situation out there? Well I guess it's better in a way that I kept everything within me. Maybe it would be left as a secret forever and vanish as what it is supposed to be.

In many people's eyes I'm only as tiny a sand. They can barely see me or even feel me. The whole beach is covered by sand. Which bit of it is me? Do u think this tiny piece of sand would be planted in someone's heart or even someone's memory that this sand tiny little sand is what they had walk past and step on it? Definitely not. Only the unique eye catching ones will definitely goes right into their eye. Beautiful choral and seashells those are uphold in one person's eye but it will never be a tiny bit of sand because all of them looks the same. I'm only a tiny lil bit of sand .... I'll never stand a place

Enough of sand, let's talk about birthday. Today is Wei En's b'day. We're "supposed" to be celebrating it at Island Cafe SS2 beside Horus Cyber Cafe but .... yea eventually only Chee Khoon, Aik Jin, Jia Zheng, Shu Chuen, Esther, lil "Su Fei" and me had our dinner there. Hey? How about the birthday girl and her beloved "husband"? Her "husband" loved her so much and decided not to eat there instead bring her to a newly opened chinese Ramen restaurant in 1Utama. So we also tagged along until they finished their dinner. We play a game of pool and headed home.

By the way Island Cafe, a place where u can spend ur time on chit-chating and playing games, most visited by youngers like us, they serve delicious food and colourful drinks. All food and drinks are between a reasonable price range. There are a variety of rice and noddles and also so called "mocktails" and juices. Spend few hours sitting there listening to soothing chinese songs. It is both open air and airconditioned. A good place for a bunch of friends to hand out and also a romantic place for couples to hang out. Met a few KDU friends there too ...

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Author **Suzanne** @ 12:48 AM Comments: 0

Birthday wishes

Hmm ... seems like I'm promoting to everyone when is my birthday. Lol ...

First of all, of course I wish to be happy. Glad that my finals end right before my birthday. Ya-hoo I can start lepak-ing on Friday night itself. Last year' birthday was a good one. Celebrated with most of my college friends. Execept that after the dinner was not where I expected to go but it doesn't matter.

MP3 Player. Am I asking too much? Maybe ... it's still kinda expensive to get a MP3 player. How about W800i instead? Oh well that's a dream ... Sigh what to do? It's the marketing strategy which make we consumer to spend so much. A MP3 player might be a need for me to record those boring lectures but it's a want for me to listen to music.

Have a birthday party? Hmm .. well if possible. Never had one in my 19 years of life before. Does eating at restaurant with a bunch of friends count? That's not party right ... I know it's not possible again. Aunt would be sreaming and grubbling all the way ... "EH girl u clean up everything after that ah? U mop the floor, cook for the party, clean dirty dishes ... do everything then can-la?!?"

Have lots of pressies ... well ... ahem the most presents I got in 1 year is only like 2? 2 green dinosours =P

Spend it with my loved ones and family. This sounds possible huh? Come on at least grant me this wish?

Lying on a big green field looking upon the sky gazzing at millions of stars in the sky. Counting one by one until I fall asleep. Romantic-nya. I know it's not possible again due to the rise of dengue cases all around ... SIGH what also cannot

Clothes and shoes. I love them. I know I got like 8pairs of shoes inside my cupboard. I still love to buy shoes ... What to do? I worked in Vincci before ... influence.

Emm carrot cake ... the one from Secret Recipe. Love them ... Yes yes too expensive it cost RM50+ for the whole cake. Better still I buy carrot from pasar cut and eat la.

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Author **Suzanne** @ 10:28 PM Comments: 0

Human wearing masks

Many people are putting on a mask ... A beautiful mask that u are able to see from outside but when it's taken off ... it would be a scary one. Phantom most probably ? How often we get to see the true face of a person? Maybe after knowing the person for a long time or through some situation like the person is drunk or what-so-ever? I personally admit that I'm one person who is very difficult to be understand. Not many people knows what's going on in my mind. Except for one or two close friends which I've known for 6 years. There are many things hidden behind individuals including me. There's many things that I do not wish to reveal. Bad things perhaps? I guess almsot everyone is like that. I guess I've done a big choice in my life just to protect someone I love dearly. I've chosen not to reveal the truth. Kept everything between me and myself.

I've just realise that how short is life ... it might end anytime. Death might be just a doorstep away ...

Assignments, presentation and exams are also a few days away from me ...

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Author **Suzanne** @ 2:41 AM Comments: 0

Meaningful song

歌曲名称：无赖
歌手名称：郑中基

我间中饮醉酒 很喜欢自由
常犯错爱说谎 但总会内疚
遇过很多的损友 学到贪新厌旧
亦欠过很多女人

怕结婚只会守 三分钟诺言
曾话过要戒烟 但讲了就算
梦与想丢低很远 但对返工厌倦
自小不会打算

但是仍唯独你爱我这废人
(在地球唯独你爱我这废人)
出错你都肯去忍
仍然谁亦早知不会和衬
偏偏你愿意等

为何还喜欢我 我这种无赖
(还喜欢我 我这种无赖)
是话你蠢还是很伟大
在座每位都将我踩 口碑有多坏
但你亦永远不见怪

何必跟我 我这种无赖
活大半生还是很失败
但是你死都不变心 跟我笑着挨(跟我拼命挨)
就算坏我也不忍心 偷偷作怪
(换作别个也不忍心 偷偷作怪)

没有根的野草 飘忽的命途
谁像你当我宝 什么也做到
旧爱手中一疋布 在这刻写句号
只想跟你终老

For those who understand chinese they might find it very meaningful. Especially those highlighted words. To me it's meaningful ... it do mean soemthing to me.

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Author **Suzanne** @ 6:04 PM Comments: 1

What students do

This is what happened during Accounting class ... everyone zzzZZZzzz and I took some candid shots ... shhhsss ... without them realising

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Author **Suzanne** @ 12:34 AM Comments: 0