First, I did not pay attention in my studies during Form2, played around and I got terrible results from Top10 in Kenanga (3rd class in the school) drop to 20over place. So form 3 I was thrown into Melati instead, a normal class for normal students like me. Reason? Fell in love with a guy, who only likes me after I change totally from a nerd who wear round big specs and pants plus large-Ts, into a female, who wear contacts and skirt. I remembered his jaw almost drop when I did that total makeover. If you don't know how ugly am I last time, I shall post a picture for you. Please don't get a shock of your life. I am not responsible of that ok?
1st roll, on the left, form 2 (Btw, we got 2nd for sports day, imagine how tough was I that time in the kawad team)
Btw, I was pretty short before form4, yea I grow very slow. I was placed right in front the class and plus another short boy(who's still pretty short now) sat on another roll beside me. I still can remember, that boy with funny center parting that looks like Ronald Mcdonald plus a big specs, a black watch on his right hand and a super size school shirt(boys think they're pretty cool to wear extra big shirts and baggy pants).
We used to play ICQ and IRC that time, don't you all remember? That "Oo Oh" sound which brings back much memories. So he asked for my ICQ number, btw I already have a bf that time, the bf that I 'chase' back after my total change. My 1st bf did not go after me, instead I'm the one who go after him, believe it or not you can ask all my old schoolmates.
So one day he went by the restaurant we used to eat after school and meetings and after that I went home turn on my ICQ and I asked Me "So you know how to play tennis?" Him "Huh? What tennis?" Me "I saw you carrying a tennis racket in your bag today when you went by the restaurant" Him :Ermm, that's not a tennis racket, that's a guitar, I play for CF" Me ... Damn super malu embarrassing, how on earth did I mistook a guitar as a racket????
Forget that embarrassing moment, lucky I did not ask face to face or else I'll have to find a hole to hide and not come out anymore.
After my 1st bf asked me this question "So are you gonna wear contacts from now on?" (So if means I'm gonna turn ugly you're not gonna like me anymore) .. I already decided that I'm gonna leave him for sure, plus I've already fell in love with someone else after talking in ICQ every weekend and many other things. Where I was joining this singing competition, singing"Lang Hua Yi Duo Duo", he begs me to sing to him during class changing intervals and his presence when I was there singing on the stage. Also, guys like to pull my scrunchy I use to tie my hair and pass it around the whole class and he'll be there to take it back for me.
One day, when we was happily chating, he suddenly said "I want to tell you something but I'm afraid that this may spoil our relationship". Actually I already know what he wanted to tell me, in the back of the PC I was smiling all the way and I replied "Oh you can just say, I will not end our friendship no matter what it is .." and he said "Actually I like you .." and I said "I have the same feelings too" .. so the next question I'm sure everyone knows .. "Can you be my girlfriend?"
Until today I was wondering how did I fell in love with a boy who eats 3-4cups of FREE yogurt distributed by the school and end up falling sick after that .. until he have to go home. Someone just try to show off there and sometimes still does all the time for now =P and for me a silly girl who often knocks her head on a big billboard along the DSH, when some one already said becareful around 2meters before I reach the billboard. He was there to sayang my head, but laughing his ass off behind. Recently knock a TIANG in pasar malam right on my head, he laugh his ass off again and I pretend to walk as if nothing happened at all. (Well you know it was so damn painful).
Well, I guessed I was touched when a gangster was trying to go after me because he was making a revenge out of him due to some reasons, he was so worried that they would do something to me and that was the 1st day I see him teared because of me. Yeah, they were stalking after me during recess even coming into my class to find me.
Story can never end if I still continue .. this is only the beginning, there are even longer and more detailed stories after all these 7years nearing 8years we've went through together. I knew him for nearing 8years, but I guess to count the period we've been together that will only be 5plus.
Still I cannot take this "If someone punch you in the eye you must tell me ok?".
I actually went and buy a RM50 eye cream for this sentence, wondering my eyes really looked being punched. Thank you my dear for your great compliment. Panda.
Distance may be the one separating us but our hearts will always be close together. I long for the day I wait for you to return and not be apart from me anymore.
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Meaningful duet, whereby the girl is saying why she can never find the one who love her whole heartly, while the guy side he was saying he got hurt a few times as well but he still do not learn how to be cruel and he will use his life to exchange a lifetime happiness for that girl.
People tend to think that this is not a sad song, but I tend to think on a different perspective, wondering why such people will never come across one another in their life. A girl who's willing to give out that much but never get anything in return and a guy who's that loving. These two people they'll never meet and both of these people is still hoping to find the right one in life. The girl will never find one who love her truly and the guy will still be hurt by girls who's fooling him..
愛愛愛 愛了幾回 也明白其中滋味 付出的從來不會等於收回 我卻還在等待著誰能出現
傷傷傷 傷了幾回 也曾經為愛憔悴 愛情裡好人總比壞人狼狽 我卻還是學不會狠心對誰
男人男人 多希望你是好人 多希望用你的真 讓我不必再心疼
女人女人 我答應做個好人 我答應用我一生 來換你的快樂一生
男人男人 女人女人 多麼希望你是對的人
How true can this be? I guess it's happening in everyone's life ..
To find the right one..
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When I'm mad and almost to let go of all anger within, this verse, somehow provide me comfort ..
..Love is patient, love is kind, it doesn't envy, it doesn't boast, it isn't proud, it isn't rude, it isn't selfish, it isn't easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, love doesn't delight in evil but rejoices with the truth, it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, love never fails.. Corinthians 13:4
I remember this verse when I read the book A Walk to Remember and also after I watch the movie again, I realise it's pretty meaningful ..
Moving on to my boring life stories
Employers in M'sia sucks, they don't bother giving you a reply if they don't plan to hire you, no courtesy at all, I've tried applying job overseas, at least they did reply me and say sorry that they have found someone else more suitable or they cannot accept me. Still, have to continue to go for interview until I found a damn job. Don't like to stay at home like this feeling useless anymore, plus PTPTN will soon blacklist me ..
People nowadays are pretty busy with their life, so don't really bother and I need to seek my own life whereby I'll have a sense of belonging somewhere .. when even your own bf is busy, you'll have to find some self entertainment .. probably sleeping like 16hours per day and wait for night to come and go back to sleep again. How about going shopping alone? Someone please give me a platinum card. I'm very lonely lately, anybody wants to date me? HAHAHAHA ..
Graduation date is confirmed, 29th of October (can't they put it on a weekend?!) I have to travel down to Singapore, but well it's once in a lifetime that I will get to wear that funny mortar and regalia and take millions of photos with my batch of coursemates esp with Mr. U (haven't seen him for 8months) . Probably some pro photograph with relatives as well. Also, make-up session in Raffles toilet before the ceremony, you'll see 4 girls taking up the whole toilet mirror and I'm gonna make Shan Shan so pretty. Shan Shan wanna try false lashes?
The thing is that I only have 3free seats, 1 for my Mom, 2 for sister, 3 for Aunt .. great all filled up, glad that at least got ppl want to come and see me graduate. My father? No way, he'll never want to travel just to go a convocation. So close case, seats filled and will send up my form using fax after I get a bank draft costing me AUD125. Damn 7 expensive ok? Somemore no food only got refreshments kedekut ni Murdoch, I paid like thousands of exams fees. Also, expect people to eat before 7 when the ceremony starts, mean you all should start eating at 5pm. While me? by 6pm have to be there, so for me makan roti kosong with water. Any admires out there (there's none actually T.T, short hair ugly girl) I want that BIG graduation bear displaying infront of 1Utama S&J.
Feel like going clubbing, sien like shit .. I miss those moments with my old school mates, probably stay one night up to chat whole night is not even enough? Sorry don't feel like being a good girl these days, since nothing really pleased me .. so need a change ..
Oh I was very emo so I went and cut my hair again, as usual my mom will cut it real short and this time very yeng, one side shorter than the other side, done on purpose, please read more fashion magazine and watch tv more often .. this is call STYLE ok?
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Every time things had always been like a dream .. never ending dream for me .. that I will not be able to wake up but just purely living in that comfort zone .. a dream will never last ..
Do you know how it feels to miss someone badly? Every day still goes on, the sun still rise, we still wake up from sleep and do things we're supposed to do .. but somehow you can feel that something is missing there, the emptiness that cannot be explained by words, somehow that feelings just stay in the heart, no matter how busy the day is, until the night comes when everything seems to be quiet down, that feeling will even become stronger .. going into bed with that feeling and waking up with the same one over and over again ..
It does feels like a dream, a dream that can never be awaken .. until that day comes .. is that call loneliness?
I've always place someone else first in everything, including considering much on how things would work out, even I need to place extra hard work, planning schedule ahead or doing things to suit the other person's way. I realise I've not been living up to myself, sometimes I just can't help pondering why did I do so much after all?
Hopefully I will change one day .. or sooner .. standing up for myself .. living for what I really want in my life ..
Can I be a bad girl for once? I've always wanted to do that .. the rebellious side of me .. Nah it's just another bad mood day for me .. I won't really do it at all ..
Life goes on and time will never stop for me ..
Another thing, please do not remind me of my 22nd birthday this year, I just want to pass that day without any celebration, no cake, no singing song, no cards and no wishes .. This way it would be more special isn't it? No big deal, I'm just one year older, more wrinkles, more responsibilities and more mature (maybe for this one) .. This is life, you have to accept it no matter how hard it's gonna be .. Live or Die, Why so Serious?
and lucky bitches out there stop complaining about your life when you have everything you want, you get to buy everything, travel where ever you want .. you know what you should just shut up and enjoy your fucking life before you get lose of anything you have now .. bunch of retarded princess, like some bloggers that can't stop bragging about branded stuffs, the super young Dawn Yang wanna be made in M'sia, eww get to go for holiday and still complain?? If you all know who's that retarded princess who self claim can write a book. Who would buy? others retarded princess loh, read already become like her another bimbo
A dog will be faithful to the master, because it only has you as their life, without you, they would not be able to live. I'm speaking of dogs that you buy and not dogs on the street. They only have you as their best companion, you can have family, friends and other activities, but they only have you as their source of entertainment. If you ignore them and keep them in the cage all time, please don't have a dog, they'll have depression just in case you do not know.
However, to me, a dog is a companion to me ... when I'm lonely, it will be the one who's by my side all the time, when I cry, it will be the one who will stay beside me and listen, although it does not reply, but I'm sure some of the dogs understand human feelings. When they see their master sad, they would walk up to the master and just sit beside you to keep you company. I guess a dog will cure my every need when I'm lonely at home, especially times like now, when everybody is busy with their own life.
I don't really care whether my family allows me to keep one, I'm just gonna buy one and they can't ask me to throw away after that right? (Reason 1: Too expensive Reason 2: Too cute).
I was thinking of Schnauzer, but this breed is really hard to find in M'sia, and after reading reviews I think Toy Poodle would be a better choice, smaller in size, easier to train and listed as 2nd smartest in the dog's list. I didn't like poodle at first because I think their ugly, but looking at Johnathan's Misa, she's so cute, I guess only the bigger poodles looks weird, small breeds still ok for me.
So I want a poodle as my 22nd birthday this year. Please do not buy me present, just donate into the funds call "Buy Suzanne a Poodle".
I've even thought of the name, no not M-I-C-K-E-Y, it's Mikki - japanese name la. I thought of giving my future dog this name like 1year ago, see how desperate am I in getting a dog? Maybe I'm giving too much love and attention to my bf, it's time to take some away to give to something else instead.
Anyway, does anyone know any good breeder here? Planning to buy one near December ... Please I do not want dogs that's import from Thailand and China. Only want breed from local, willing to pay for quality. What you think? This is my 15years down the road companion.
On another note, I sayang the dog give him treats, he'll come back in return to shake his tail for me and be faithful to me, human? No way, human's personality is much worse than a dog, you give them something and treat them well, in return they come back to say bad things about you.
Besides, people like to stereotype as well, when you belongs to some group or if you were the child of a well being family you are assume to be THAT good and innocent. Seriously, do you really know a person well enough with judging where is he/she from or appearance or the how he/she act on daily basis? I say NO, unless you are God. So yea, all the good ones are assume to be innocent, and all the bad ones are assume to be filthy.
Humans tend to behave that way, when they have something in hand they won't cherish until they lost it. Same goes with relationship, the harder to get the person, the more you want and the more you appreciate and the more you would do for that person. After you gave and done much, you'll become the invaluable one. Just like getting a limited edition stuffs that you're willing to pay so much or line up whee hours in the morning to get it, and comparing to one that you can get in pasar malam. So what's the value between those two? Some people value things through the price paid, some value through quality ... which is worth more it'll depend on the person to judge...
Scenario of a car having tire puncture, the person would never knew how important was the spare tire behind there until such situation whereby the spare one plays and important part.
So Suzanne says Abercrombie and Bitch, I've been a good girl for all this while, the inner be feel like trying to be a bad one ... I'm tired of being a good one, can I be rebellious at times too? Can I try being a bitch? Uhm, I don't wanna be the nice girl who kept everything inside anymore, knows everything but not telling yet not taking any action. I wanna be the one who confront and say things straight to the point and be harsh. Am I out of my mind? No I drank milo just now and no alcohol. You know ... whatever
Normally a bitch gets more attention and win the hearts of men right? That's how we use to address those famous girls in school/college. I wanna try fooling around with guys and dumping them and telling them we've not been a relationship before just like how bitches does in school.
Another thing, no matter how innocent a person looks like that is not true, I would never believe all this nonsense anymore since that point I encounter something that I could not believe.
I should get back to work soon, secure a job soon, before I go crazy ...
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