我也有我的梦想
承诺真的会永远不变吗？
忍耐也会有极限，当有一天我不想再为任何人而挽留，我会选择默默的离开，去实现我的梦想。
我想你们每个人都为了你们的理想而放弃我的存在，那我为什么要为了他人而挽留？我只想踏上我自己选择的路而不再回头，不再后悔。当你发现有一天我会选择放弃，你可能会很惊讶可是到时再想挽留也太迟了。到那时候所有经过的事和人只会变成一片回忆，再也不再为任何东西而动摇或牵挂。
我已经学者不让你为我任何的事情而牵挂，学者让我自己坚强起来再也不用你苦苦的听者我对你诉苦，再也不用你为我操心，再也不再告诉你我的不开心。我讨厌人家闲我烦，我要你牢牢的记着当天是你把我推开，以后别怪我再也不需要你那肩膀，更不需要你的关心。我已经无处可逃，现实就摆在眼前。
时间渐渐的消失，你的关心也随着时间渐渐的减少和流失。到底能不能坚持，对我来讲我已经失去本来所建立起来的信心。
既然你连E卡都不看，我想我也不用在费心机和浪费钱来寄了
才发现原来她从未在你心中消失。谎言也会有他的极限。
发现懂得华语的我真好，用华语诉苦是最快乐的一件事情。
也能用华语写歌
走得太远无法回头，只能默默的望着那片漆黑的天空在这城市没有星星，只能带这回忆仰望着充满感触的星空当你记得回头看我一眼时，你才发现原来我们的距离已经那么远后悔的你再也追不上我的脚步，也找不会当年的快乐是你把我狠狠的推开，道歉也再也没有意义是你伤透了我的心，再要挽回也来不及当初没有好好珍惜的你，不可怪谁只能怪你自己太高估了你能挽留我心的能力
心灰
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Reading back ....
Suddenly when I took up the courage to browse back somethings I might not want to see, I've gotta conclude that yes I felt cheated and hurt in some way after reading back many things and finally discover the hidden meaning behind there after I found out about the real truth. Sad is the word to be expressed. Requires alot of courage to leave the past behind and I'm doing good now.
Just my 2cents worth of thoughts.
The encoded message is decoded
Time was running out for him. " It is now or never"
If only....
They say, "You wouldn't appreciate something until you've lost it"
I could only say ...
The seeds I've planted had grown into a tree, which starting to bears fruits lately ....
The letters had gave me big impact, never wanted believe the contents. Forgiven.
Unable to decode my message?
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The growing process of being 21 soon
I started of as a fat baby with almost no hair. Everytime they bring me out people who say "Oh so cute this lil boy". Eh hello? I no hair doesn't mean I'm a boy ok? So they made me wear skirt so correct my identity or just tie some ribbon and clips on my hair so that I would look like a girl. So do I look like a girl now?
You see a fat boy here .. no no fat girl
Ah finally some hair when I'm 2years old but still with a boy's face with chubby cheeks, lobak's hand , lobak's leg and double chin
Finally starting to look like girl
But they must make a look like a man so that I can become a future CEO
They tried so many ways, putting make-up, dressing me up as a flower girl, but I wasn't happy because I'm still botak
When I get to keep long hair for ballet classes but only for 2years .. then
Then this Yuk Chai don't allow me to keep long hair without a letter of consent
This is the critical period where I lost all my baby fats and has a head that's bigger than my body? and a ugly mushroom hair
This was 5years ago when I starting to develop more of girls hormone and mind of how I look after those critical ones
When I was once fair and pimple-less,those days were gone
Suddenly became ah moi after much training of kawad kaki in PBSM, pretending to study very hard for my physic class
Times where I'm so dark in terms of my skin and my super thin bf(compare now) during form
don't come hit me ok? but then at least now you don't look like a girl =P
Cinderella and her lost prince =P
Now I know why when I 1st enter college got guys kau but after that all ran away .. you'll know what I meant after viewing the rest of the pictures
When pimples starting to invade ....
it may seemed ok until you enlarge the pictures
It doesn't seems to work ....
Even tried to use a mask to cover up my face ....
Until this panoxyl cream that works finally ..
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Running away
Be what others want me to be ...
Well, others told me, "Suzanne business course is good, there's alot of job demand out there, take this course". Blindly, this half blur me just went into the path like this. When choosing major, others told me accounting wasn't good, it brings you a stressful life, you're more of an outgoing person so should take marketing as part of your major. Oh well .. listen listen
Now last semester when I'm graduating soon, again "Please go out and work and bring money home to support your sister for education". Great, do they really bother to ask what's my plan in life? Or really do they really care at all other than asking me to do this and that? I'm tired of being ordered and other telling me how I should go on with my life.
I'm already almost 21, can't they just let me decide on which path I would like to take in my next step of life? Hey, I've got my own plans just give me a break.
Why every other people can make their decision even without thinking about others, but why not me? I've been tied down with so many burdens.
I wish that I can just leave without any commitment left here. If I were to love someone very dearly here, I guess I'm the person who's willing to sacrifice and stay behind.
Since they wish that I'll do everything accordingly and to bring money home after I graduate, fine I'll just go for stewardess and bring big bucks home? Or when I go crazy probably I'll just run away from a period of time doing whatever I want without considering about others, since I've always been thinking for others and they did not in return did the same to me? Maybe by then they'll realised they should give me a choice too. Leaving behind everything and just run away.
Never easy to be pulled by two strings, I'll get torn one day sooner or later.
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人身就像一场戏
他们说人身就像一场戏，不知不觉我们都慢慢的长大，时间也过的很快。可是，我的人身也太多起伏不平路了吧。好像几乎都没有一个时段是让我真的能快乐的过下去。从小我就不懂什么是叫家庭，也习惯了独自一个人，从不喜欢和其他人分享我拥有的东西。我最讨厌就是人家从我身边抢走属于我的东西也很介意他人不对我实现承诺。就算你们要讨厌我这种性格我也没办法，因为这是从我生活的环境培养出来。
还以为找到一个爱我的人，就真的是找到快乐怎知反而给我带来了无数的苦恼和痛苦。
但有些人口口声声说当我是朋友，心里却不是那样，而什么都是怪我而先。他们一定会把他人当着仙女一样对待，我呢？就会象恶魔一样，无论我有没有做错事，永远错的都是我。你们这些人也太过分了吧？没有经过事情过程的了解就一口咬定我是千古罪人。你们也不用大脑想一下，如果真的是那么的单纯，何必你和朋友出街的事要在我们的面前提起呢？说一声“他妈的，干我们的屁事, 你要去就去嘛”。反正你们认为我就是坏人，我又何必解释那么多？
半年也太短了吧？我快乐得时光只有那么的短暂，然后又要面对距离上的分离，这种生活也太难过了吧？
到底爱情几时才能带给我正直的快乐呢？辛苦了三年，用了最大的勇气来从拾这份感情，你真的觉得有那么容易吗？我用了多大的勇气来忘了所有的痛苦。
换着说生活，钱真的是不可缺的东西。我不像他人那么有钱，要风得风，要雨得雨。我可是要靠我这双脚站了几天几个小时才有点钱来买自己喜欢的东西。羡慕那些一开口就可以的到一切的人。本来打算明年要去旅行的我，现在要真的考虑，还要还读书的钱和还妹妹的大学费用。
干脆把我干掉算了，那我就不必在为那么多事情烦
最近真的好烦好烦快要爆炸
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Best Thing To Do
The most Wu Liao thing I've ever done .. to watch bf sleep over the webcam
He's gonna kill me if he sees all these pictures, taken when he's sleeping soundly
First he faces his back towards the webcam
Now only can see half of his face
Only mouth left to be seen from here
Now where did he vanish?
Don't come after me. It's your idea afterall.
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A song that I adores very much also a very meaningful song. I was looking for this song ever since I heard from the Superstar competition last year. Beautiful tunes and also words
女︰在SUPERMARKET逛了好大一圈
想你愛咖哩或是意大利麵
幸福的食譜再惡補幾遍
我的優點要你百嚐不厭
男︰在下班路上租了幾支影片
有你在沙發就是浪漫劇院
辛苦的時候想著你的臉
沒有蠻牛活力也會出現
＊合︰喔 小夫妻 我的福氣
這輩子可以讓我愛上了你
這一路
男︰有時晴
女︰有時雨
合︰都沒有關係
合︰我們的真心超過鑽石對愛的定義
＃合︰小夫妻 永不放棄
默契是最富有的一種儲蓄
賭氣話
男︰你一句
女︰我一句
合︰也覺得甜蜜
合︰多慶幸我們望著同樣明天牽手再努力
男︰你今天玉米濃湯有一點鹹
女︰你沒送鑽戒以後補我項鍊
男︰我的通通是你的沒有期限
女︰存夠錢我們逛地球一圈
重唱 ＊,＃
女︰喔 小夫妻
男︰小夫妻
女︰我的福氣
男︰我的福氣
女︰這輩子
合︰可以讓我愛上了你
合︰這一路
男︰有時晴
女︰有時雨
合︰都沒有關係
合︰我們的真心超過鑽石對愛的定義
重唱 ＃
合︰我願意
男︰這一生
女︰這一世
合︰呵護著你
合︰一直到
女︰你當爺爺
男︰你當奶奶
合︰還是老夫老妻
I am so in love with many chinese and english songs lately, hard disk going to be full soon T.T I enjoy singing very much. I want to learn piano, after watching Jay Chou's 'Secret', felt that I love the beautiful tunes from piano.
Ever since Caine left for Perth, it wasn't easy for me at first to have someone who's beside me for years to leave me here, having to live and walk my life by myself. I've always relied on him in terms of transport and also whenever I face problems he'll just be kilometers away from me. Yes, I really did suffered very much the 1st few weeks, walking everywhere which have our memories around makes me even more depressed.
I was asking God, why must you do this to me?
Then now I realised God really does things with purpose behind and it's always for the best. See, in fact now I know what's called a 'healthy' relationship. I've known that it's not good to control your partner all the time or being with him 24/7, we humans do need to spend sometimes alone or even with other friends too (Don't worry when you come back I'll still spend 24/7 with you =P). Not to say I'm much more happier now without Caine around me, but then I've find that now I've have more of my own personal time, I live a life which is more meaningful. I've learned how to smile from my heart.
Also, yet I found that we can even love each other more after being apart. Because we've finally realise how much we really appreciate and love each other after being separated in terms of distance. The phrase "Distance make the heart grows fonder' it's really true. I would spend my day going college and with friends, then yet every night we'll still make some time out for each other to chat and talk about our day. I even felt that this relationship has grow stronger in this way.
The possibilities of changing my dear's temper is near 0. But then I found that ever since he left, he had changed to someone who's more willing to tolerate me and also he would call at times to ask where I am and so on. Things that he had never done for me, now he is doing it. I've never felt that he cares for me so much. Now every conversation and 'bye' message will definitely end with an I love you. I only know that yes, he's still the one and only I love for now.
If you want to ask me why all these and how did it happened? I could only give you one simple answer. It's the work of hand of God who answers my prayers.
One last thing, I'VE LEARN HOW TO TAKE PUBLIC TRANSPORT !
Never took bus since ages ago. I went Summit by taking 3 rounds of bus and ended up lost during the journey back, lol. Then yesterday took bus to midvalley to collect my pay. Too used to 'high' class life with my sweetheart driver around last time. Yay, and by taking public transport I've helped a blind man. Don't know why, after helping him, I just felt the great joy in my heart.
Please young boys and girls out there. Next time, if you see a handicapped or seniors citizen or pregnant women around, help them and move away from your bus/lrt seats and give them your seat. Our country needs more people like this. Be courteous. "Sounds like Hits fm community ad". Another thing, your bags are not alive, they do not need to have a seat by their own. Then we won't be voted as the 3rd rudest country anymore.
Officially PK for this month. Overspent on shopping. Fullstop.
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There so many things I want
Probably I've been reading too many Jap fashion magazine, addicted to their fashion ever since I went Tokyo, the way they dress and present themselve there was definitely very different from what we see in our country. Even school girls put on makeup and dye their hair. If you dress up like how they do there, you'll be called "la-la"ness, but then I find that if you really know how to wear the fashion it'll become beautiful. Blehh ...
Still waiting for my gaji, planning to save 90% of it in my bank account, but then eventually I'll go punch out money and the money depletes again ... sigh. Can I stop buying things? No, I can't because I'm born a girl who simply can't resist beautiful shoes, clothes and bags. But then I'm supposed to save it for holidays T.T Anymore upcoming part time job for me? I've concluded that event job pays really well, even more than a permanent job.
First, I wanted this shoes long time ago, but then when I look at the price my heartaches so in the end never buy. Now hand itchy again, feel like rewarding myself after hard work =P Who wants to go summit shopping with me? Dig out cheap stuffs there.
Also, tired of my long hair. If I cut, I won't get to curl anymore and it'll definitely look like sotong legs. Dye it back to black? Nah, that's the last option ever for me, prefer to have coloured hair ever since I left school. Love her hairstyle.
One week break next week, but with 2 assignment due on week5 and 1 law exam on week 7, do you still count it as a break? Probably, some K-session and shopping again =P I miss going movie with my dear, I still haven't catch Ratatoullie yet, sigh so outdated for movies lately since he left. Also, the most delicious Bar-Be-Q plaza, one months plus since I've last taste the juicy bacons. Please come back soon dear ...
Yay, thank God we've finished our law presentation for this sem and we've achieve a satisfaction mark with one day last minute Queens effort, guessing and simply taruh cases. Lecturer says she's happy with our answers and I thought we're gonna screw up big time cos law is the most difficult to understand subject ever. Well sometimes it's good to become the 1st group to present right? Lecturer will be more lenient to us.
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