I wiIl NEVER live a life of HYPOCRITE
I do not like to live with hypocrites, that's why it is kinda hard for me to find a friend who's like me. To tell you the truth and I can admit that I'm definitely not those "Holy Holy Girl" and not those who have an "Innocent Face".
I don't find anything wrong with drinking if I don't do anything bad other than that .. That's the time to destress from work and have fun with my girl friends. You must be as sampat as me or as crazy and boy-ish like me in order to get along. So far, my college friends are the few that can put up with me and do dumb things at shopping complex or where ever and we're not bothered by how people around us tend to stare. As long as I live my life happily, why care about what others think?
My other discovery so far is my colleague, people is circulating that both of us is lesbian in the office, they say we do everything together and we tell each other every secrets. They "classified" us as twins and make fun of us. Excuse me, I don't even give a shit about that. At least I dare to do and I'm not afraid of what others say as long as I'm walking right. Better than some bitch who gossips behind and fat hiao infront of guys, am I right?
Me and her, we still can proudly say "We're YOUNG and there's so much opportunity out there and we can wear cute and sexy clothes without others saying - Wa Lau you what age dy?"
That's the problem when you stuff the who office with girls and women, who are old in age and single?
Well as least I'm proud to say "I don't say one thing, and do another thing infront of others". I don't go and tell people how Holy I'm and how much I want to change and I won't go clubbing, drinking or change my closet and infact doing those behind, just that church people can't see them. The ME who's in the morning and the ME who's at night.
I think my mom did not gave birth to 3 girls and 1 boys. Infact all of us is boy. What to do, when you always mingle around with all guy cousins and they taught you how to play toy guns and fight kung fu style. All this had brought me to who I'm today and I'm never ashame to be who I am.
Opppss, now you know where I work and the company's name.
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A failure of faithfulness
Words of caring would be so much more better than brushing me off every time. Really make me wonder, there's no relationship that will last. People tend to get fed up easily and they change their mind everytime. I wish I can let go of things easily and walk out of the shadow of depression soon and live with a smile everyday.
I can't. I need support from people around me, I will fall in one night just because of some matters. I do not want to live in the past. I want to forget about every pain that I have went through.
Are you one of them who are helping me?
Do you know how does it feels to have like 30packets of medicine infront of me, because I've visited the doc more than 10times this year.
Also, every night there's tons of medicine I need to take before I sleep? Why me? Why I'm always the one falling sick. I am really tired.
These medicine will continue a year, if I do heal. Most important part still lies in my brain, medicine will only boost me up until a level and they need to be stop one day.
I'm looking forward to the day that I can stand still and tell others that I'm a normal human being. How is this possible when the closest person refuse to even lend a helping hand but only pushing me deeper everyday? I only wanted words of caring, am I asking too much?
How will you feel when you're down, yet people is using discouraging words on you. Pain, if that's from the person you love dearly.
I wish to sleep and not wake up from my dream. Only be awake when people learns to appreciate.
Human made mistakes but not too often, I have given many chances. When you regret one day, that will be the day when it's too late.
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How Long Ago is My Last Post?
I don't even remember when was my last post. Whereby I've stopped blogging a while back, I guess that's what is gonna happen to us when we're just way too busy with life - Work, Play, Sleep. Mostly is work 70% a day. Agree? There's no such thing as work life balance anymore and does not apply here in Malaysia. I've only heard of people working to death.
Thanks to some irresponsible
fellor I'm now quarantined at home, NO as everyone is worrying about H1N1 the fatal virus for now, I'm down with Rubella what they call "Fake Measles" in
cantonese. The doctor cannot confirm because I'm half half the symptoms - i.e. rashes that looks alike and
swollen lymph nodes. However no fever, weird I'm.
I
memang is a very weird person/human being from the beginning right?
I am still
figuring or I have concluded that the working world out here is a world full of meanies and full of competition whereby people can just do anything for their own benefit. If I don't try to protect myself, one day someone is just going to kill me silently with a knife. I admit
alot of times that I do say a lot of things to protect my own benefits. Also, I do things that solely on what you call selfish. Else? How on am I supposed to survive the cruel world out here.
Does being someone different meaning others can see it? I don't think so. Or others can feel? I think this only applies to someone or I should call a good friend that I can trust. ONLY her.
OK, so I'm stuck at home until my blood test is out or until Sunday? I am needing tons of fresh air and good food. Working from home is so bored when there's 0 motivation. There's no one to talk to. No Ivy to come pinch my ass, gosh I'm missing her?? Ah, I'm so in love with her =P
So today I went through a
concall, as you know I am not allowed to go out and infect others (but others can come infect me, hey this isn't fair). Here is how the
concall went ..
Bee (my colleague) dial from office to connect us, let's just jump straight to the call
A: So what is wrong with you? You confirm got measles one or not (In VERY sarcastic tone)
Me: Er, no the doctor say have to wait until blood test report is out
A: You sure you're not faking by using a red marker to draw dots over yourself and tell others that you're sick? (Haha, f*** you is so not a funny joke)
Me: Why would I do so? (Bloody B**** you want me to show you my medical cert or I come personally to you and stripped off to show you my hands, legs, body and private part that so called I use marker to draw even on my ass hole where I cannot reach?)
A: I thought you purposely do so because you don't wanna come out to have meeting with me or you're scared of me (OHH, I'm more than happy to go out because I'm gonna rot soon, you want some virus too? I love needles I with that I have one now to take some of my blood out now and poke on your head)
Me: Er, no? Just that I can't go out because I would infect others? (Wish that you're pregnant and your baby bcome cacat)
A: Aiyar, where got such things cannot go out one .. (I so wish to go so close to you and infect you with Rubella then your turn to stay home and I don't need to get instructions from you !! Oh YAY!)
Can you imagine that there's such mean people on this earth? And most of them are WOMEN ! What the ..
Quote from Ivy - If you have any "Winter melon taufu, three long two short" (Tong Gua Tau Fu, Sam Cheong Leong Deun) don't come and find me.
I know I'm not supposed to think that way, but I just can't help ..
Why such people do not get punishment in their life, but why so many good people with kind heart out there have to suffer? Whereas people like these are living rich and have all the authorities to critise others.
"Wo Bu Ren Ming, Wo Ye Bu Hui Ren Ming" - From Little Nyonya
What A day, tomorrow will be a better day .. Always look to the brighter side. Can't wait for my Aussie trip, my boots and winter jacket are shouting "Suzanne I miss you".
Muahh, end my day happily and not letting others affect me, that's how life should be. Live the way you want it to be and let not the factors determine and take over your life.
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