Feelings
You walked right into a hall filled with familiar people along the way, but none noticed you
A hall with many presence, but it was empty in your sight
You stood right there to listen what others are saying, but they disperse without noticing you
A group with people around, but you hear nothing in your ears
Nowadays, I find that humans always ignore those who are not in their "socially acceptable" term. They are often too comfort with their own clique until they have loss track of others.
People can say all they want about you because it's their mouth and u can't do anything about it. So why not live life easy and not listen to all these nonsense when you know yourself well enough. You'll only provide me with more courage to prove what u said is wrong and one day I'll stand out and say thank you about it. *somethings wrong with me*
Stares at ceiling every night before I sleep, thinking and thinking and ....
I still haven't reach a conclusion yet until today.
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Photos From Shooting Session For Sin Chew
Oh my, they did not tell me that they'll slot the whole section behind Sin Chew's "Da Du Hui"whole back page, I assumed that they'll just place in the middle as they had always done that.
Brother said, "Mommy told the whole village about it", LOL, so farney. I didn't even bother to buy that night it came out because was out at my friend's house only saw it like 12pm in the afternoon.
Took those 6 photos I choosed from the studio, since we went Times Square to catch "Open Season" at Imax. Only will reveal two here, the rest are keeping for my friends to see =P
The newspaper is way too big to fit a scanner so, yeah only have hard copy with me.
The one they cropped out on the newspaper
I love this background, creativity
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What A Long Day
Skipped class today and headed to Time Square's
2046 Imaging Studio to shoot some photos for Sin Chew Jit Poh fashion section which will be publish on this coming Monday. Spend almost whole day there. I am so dead tired .. Practically feel like it was just a dream cos I was super blur.
Waited until 4 o'clock for the editor and camera man to arrived. She didn't recognise me, she thought I was supposed to look like some "kuai mui" looks. According to her the picture I sent somewhat I look like mix but not in real person. Ahahaha, is that a good or bad compliment? Well, I know where I stand. Degraded in real person I mean =P
I had to change two different looks. One is modern "OL" (Office lady), second one is after work. Oh no, I'm too thin until I can't fit into the belt and they had to pinned it for me. Embarassing. Luckily I did fit in the skirt well. Ouch those heels hurts, since they have standard size of shoes so I had to forced my big size 8 feet into the shoes.
Have to put thick makeups like
painting ICI on my face, to look nice on photoshoot. Plus the amount of pimples on my face lately. Those studio photos turned out to be better than what I expected. Oh, what amazing things can lightings do. Too bad the photos are still not in my hand yet.
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Blank
Lately it was so difficult for me to fall asleep, I do not know why, even have those nightmares that bothers me all the time. Maybe had been spending too many late nights either to complete my assignments, exams or watching Korean series. Sigh.
Went 1Utama to do survey for my Market Research unit today. 120samples need to be collected, I wonder how are we gonna finish this? Er, not to critise but PJ people tends to be abit of unfriendly. Goodness, why must those people run away from us as if we're gonna kill them? And those aunties shoke their head until their neck gonna break. Tired, legs are numb after walking for about 4-5 hours.
After we've got fedup of doing our work. I headed Comma with Shan to look at clothes instead. Sorry Shan, I pulled u along to stay at the shop for more than half an hour. I *heart* the shop, laces and frills I love them so much, I feel like buying the whole shop back . Too bad everything inside is free size, why no S,M and L ? I've tried 3 pieces of clothes, first piece- I look like a princess (too kua cheong), second - terrible, I look pregnant, third one - nice cardigan, bought it of course.
I MUST stop spending, someone please stop me. I've been buying shirts, cardigans, shoes ... money all fly away liao.
Ah, tomorrow going photoshoot for a chinese newspaper. I got no confidence within myself, wish me all the best. Also, hope that they don't cut my hair.
Well, at last I must mention this as I find that I really have to tell others that God has really blessed me. Thank God for the mid-term results and also the chance He had given to me.
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Updates for previous week
Oh well the haze is back again .. *cough cough* I just can't bare the air outside as it'll make me feel sick. Just couldn't understand why human must destroy the beautiful nature created by God by doing all sorts of open burning, adding some carbon monoxide or whatevery it's into to the air and kill it's own kind. Lame. Pretty Lame.
Just finished another presentation on tuesday and exam on friday. Spend like 3 hours sleeping each night and yet there's another presenatation and report this upcoming Thursday. I am tired, tired .. Oh why must finals fall on my birthday ! I'm supposed to enjoy some fondue on that day and go out and 'wet' until midnight comes ..
Mooncake festival was last Friday, we big babies carried some colourful lanterns and walked around the road. Somehow, I still miss my secondary schoolmates alot, we used to had alot of fun last time, walking on the road being the nosiet group ever laughing over and over again. Sigh those are past now, most had already left.
Enough about haze, exams n presentation, mooncake festival .. here a picture of my makeover last Friday.
Babydoll top from
lacecloset. This is the first most ever expensive top I spent. Don't ask how much because I hardly buy expensive clothes, well to me the outer layer of a person whether it's branded or not it's just a kind of pride on face. You wear it outside people can't even differentiate where you bought the clothes from because the tag is inside, make sense ?
Can I have a wish list ? Just write for fun even I don't have money to get it now.
1. Pretty Dress
I saw this beautiful dress from lacecloset and yes it's really very pretty. It cost RM80 I think. I wish to have it. Pink in colour somemore, I just love it so much.
2. Sony Ericsson W950i
3G phone plus features with large screen.
3. Laptop.
It's very irritating doing work at college without a laptop, so inconvenient. Especially during those times when we have presentations. Gotta rush to computer lab and do everytime.
4. Elegant watch
All my watch are either from Vincci or cheap cheap one. Only one is from adidas, but it's kinda sporty so does not suit for formal ocassion. Still haven't found one I adore yet. Waiting for sales to come.
Got alot more things I want, will add when I think of it, muahahaha, I'm daydreaming. Not as fortunate as those kids who has rich parents to buy them stuffs and provide them with money all the time. If I want something, the money must come out from my own pocket. Well well, going Aussie is also merely impossible.
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Emptiness
Sometimes you will just have this feeling of emptiness whereby those people around you basically treats you as invinsible or practically you're just an out-cast among them. Well this is not the first time though, people tend to leave me out all the time (perhaps I suck in communication skills with others, so I look lansi to people).
Two words to describe Not Wanted. Argh, just feel like leaving this place for a better one so that it would be a real start in terms of social life and other related things. I have a choice don't I ? Just pack up and call mom say "Hey, I decided to move back and stay with you for long !" She must be enlighten.
Well then I would really be able to leave everything behind .. Can I ? Perhaps I already knew that somethings can never be changed over time no matter how long it's ..
I know I shouldn't be blogging right now because I'm having a 9am exam tomorrow morning and I do not plan to have much sleep tonight. Just that I am de-motivated and tired of many things that are happening around me. Or maybe I should look at a different perspective?
take the handphone *selects write new message .. wrote something .. decided not to send and discard .. throw handphone aside* I have really learned to be silent on matters.
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I have Learned to Be Silent
People always asked me why am I so quiet at times. Well, answer to it is I felt like an out-cast so I do not feel like speaking just in case I say some rubbish which is not relevant ..
Perhaps I'm very different in college n among my close friends, yeah I am the one making the most noise laughing out the loudest. I always kacau people when they want to listen to the lecture. I can eat crab like no one's business *Use hammer knock the crab until shell flies* O_o even I dressed as the most feminine amongst them. If you don't know me well enough that's the true me =)
However, as time pass I've learned to be silent about many things. There's alot of things I used to share or tell to my close ones but now the situation had made me turn away and keep it to myself instead. Perhaps I had being turned down many times when I tried very hard to communicate, now I choosed to walk away. I only see the back of a person whenever I need a shoulder to lean on. I have no choice .. it had brought me until here today.
I knew that many things can never be changed but why am I still insisting until today? I really thought I had made the last and only decision on that day itself.
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