Susubear Little Inn: I really had enough !

Seeking My True Self

Thursday, August 02, 2007

I really had enough !

Enough is enough, when all this will stop !
I'm getting frustrated over many many things in my life. I no longer can take it anymore.

First, enough that he's so far away from me. In such conditions when I needed someone the most, enough that I no longer have anyone to rely on. Enough that I've waited for days until I could really talk to him. But thanks to aussie not so advance internet, we can't even web cam or just skype at all, I can't even hear his voice! It's killing me ....

Is this all .. NO !

My phone spoiled on Sunday night, the battery ain't working anymore, one call or few sms there goes all the battery.

Next

Now my CPU spoils, I can't even on my damn computer and this laptop here is giving me alot of problems.

Fine! Everything seems to go wrong after he left. Why? Why even the only mean of communication for me to contact him, is also taken away? It's like taking away bit by bit of my life, killing me slowly .. It's suffering, so suffering, it's not as easy as what I've thought, no. Missing someone is so hard, it's never easy.

How I wish he is here now, that I could lay into his arms and forget about all the problems around me. I'm feeling so tired, so tired about my life, I'm so lost, that I do not know where is the next step to take.

I'm jealous, jealous over people who have understanding parents and family members. Also jealous over people who have so many friends who stood beside them all the while. Why I'm always stuck with scoldings at home no matter what I do? Why everything is my fault?
I'm also jealous whenever he tells me I'm going here and here. How much I wish I was there with him!

I'm so tired, why makes me suffer slowly whereby the accumulated pain is enough to kill me. Why don't just do it one go and take me away? Then it won't be so much pain involve. Right.

I'm sorry that I've failed you. I know you really love me very much. I too love you alot. But it's so pain ..

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