Changes ...
There are many phase of changes in life, moving from one to another wasn't easy, especially the biggest leap I'm taking now into the working world. Not that the market do not have any job offerings, there are tons for business student which is the highest demand now, however to find one that's paying reasonable, or finding one that has proper working hours and tolerable distance from my area wasn't easy at all. All of them were either too far that I have to switch transport by 6am in the morning, or work from 10am-10.45pm minus public holidays, weekends and all. I need a life too you know, why companies make fresh graduate suffer? I don't wanna die soon when I just started working.The one I went today, they really like me for my experience, ability in speaking and reading chinese as well (I told you, if u forgot your chinese, you should regret for life). But the hours are based on shopping retailing hours. Noting that I'm a girl, returning home at 11pm at night in this country, I would really get myself into big trouble long-term.
Interview after one another, but yet to find one that's like I won't end up in the hospital for over stressed. This is life? Face it right ... Some times just wish to continue sleeping and dreaming to run away from the reality world.
My convocation date was confirmed on 29 of October which is a weekday which made me kinda mad. How do they expect people to take leave or parents just to go down to Singapore smack between the weekdays? At least Friday night is not that bad. Another hope ruin. Of course I do wish my family and love ones will be there to celebrate this joyous occasion with me, hoping that someone would bring a bouquet of flowers with a graduation teddy as promised. Somehow reality is abit too far from what I hope all the time.
Changes also applies to humans. I find many people change easily, change their mind at a split second, change the way they used to treat others, or even change their personality at one go. Scary. Different faces infront of different people.
Sometimes, I'm just tired up to the point that I really need someone to talk to. At times like this I couldn't afford to call him at all since the calls will cost rm1 per minute. Most of the time I'll keep things within myself until at night, when we finally can web cam and maybe things like this can make me happier. But when things change at times, I'll just keep quiet and obey because I know if I don't the consequences is that I'm looking for a argument. Patience.
I kept it within myself and have a good cry and hoping to forget when I'm awake. Do u know at times when I'm really sad and tired?
Tonight, I decided to share it with my dear blog, the only place that I could pour out ...
"Everday I wake up I told myself not to give up in anything I do, I told myself that nothing is impossible, I told myself to stand strong in order to go through all this obstacles. Even he's not beside me now, I have to learn how to adapt things, to be strong and independent. Some times, even I do miss you so much that I sat down crying, I told myself this would only be a while, don't cry you have to be strong.
During times when I get rejected, I would say to myself, take a good look at the mirror, why would you give up yourself over such things? Listening to songs that contain lyrics expressing my feelings, as if there's someone else who understand the situation I'm ...
I wanted to tell you, how those people make me feel so dejected all the time. Every words they said can be so discouraging at times. I wanted to tell you why I was feeling down today.
I wanted to tell you about so many things carried heavily over my mind...
I wanted to tell you about how I feel ... if only I have the chance ..."
I felt that things change so easily, sometimes you really do wish things were once as good as last time, but at times you can only keep it to yourself before you face the consequences.
我只想你像以前一样那么的关心我 adv_username = "suzannetan"; adv_gid = "suzannetan_default"; adtype = "180x150";
Author **Suzanne** @ 1:57 AM
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