Susubear Little Inn: 2 very different feelings

Seeking My True Self

Monday, February 04, 2008

2 very different feelings

10 days before you came back, I was so excited and counting down every day from 10 .... to 1 until the day I waited for months until I can see you again. I still remember that Saturday which is the day that I've been that happy before in my life, I can't express the feelings yet I just can't stop talking because I was too over excited.

However, I felt kinda weird after seeing him for real (normally it is virtually) for months, even holding hands feel odd for me, can you imagine? I was at the state whereby I'm so used to being single, like for not watching movies for months, not digging out any dresses to wear from my cupboard to go for dating .... and so on. Then the sudden feeling of having someone beside you, holding u once again in the arms side by side and hands that were once familiar. Just unexplainable, feels like over joy by something that you waited for ages.

Then now which is a very different feeling .. knowing that again the days will come by again but the heart just have this uneasiness that's so not willing to let go once again. Having known that how difficult such separation moments feel, this even felt heavier when you do not know when you'll get to meet each other once again. Months? Year? Feeling of waiting feels so bad when you do not know how long this will take, seems to be longer when you do not know the time.

Well the only thing I can do now is kept the best memories we've spent together all these years. They say when you wait for something, things may seemed more precious and eventually learn to appreciate the person more. Well I have to agree to this maybe in short period of months this really brought many benefits to the relationship including learning how to let go of things and giving each other some space.

I've experience this myself, if you were to spend every single day and night with that particular person, relationship will only go bad one day, because you end up have nothing to talk to with that person anymore and you'll find that person so irritating and get fed up with things. Spending too much time with each other will not make you appreciate the person more but instead making things go bad. Maybe for months of separation may bring such results but speaking about being separated for too long, I'm not sure myself whether I'll start to lose interest on that person. If this happens means the relationship not stable or you're just not meant to be? Normally things only happens when the 3rd party appears .... right?

Hmmm.... maybe some handsome hunk+good personality+kind+charming+ .... I may meet in my soon to come job may change my heart. HAHAHAHA ....

Wait .. I thought I was in a depress mood ? Having only few more days left plus minus those CNY days where everyone will be spending with family including myself. Feel like doing something crazy though .. feel like using super glue on my hand then our hand will be stick together hahahahaa.

I don't wanna live my life that lonely again, time don't pass so fast please? I'm gonna miss you, miss every single moment we've spent together these few months, things just seems to pass me by too fast until I don't have the time to record them down. This year we won't be spending our birthdays and anniversary together, at least there's still a Valentine's day left for you and me.