I always thought someone would change for the better. Probably I'm wrong afterall after placing many hopes all these year, giving numerous chances and holding my patient limits to the maximum. Everything is still the same, I was trying my best to appreciate and be happy of what I have now, but no this won't work at all. I starting to realise that I'm just forcing myself. I glare at the sky but I see nothing ahead of us.
Selfishness, self centered thingy that can never be change, no matter whether it's in future or anything probably it doesn't matter anymore. I'm tired of listening to your commands, I'm tired that I need to accommodate to your every needs, I'm also tired that not even once you have tried to fit in my shoes and care about my feelings. Being in a relationship needs tolerance, but seems that I'm the only one who's giving out all the time and I'm really fedup.
First, many excuses will be use to avoid bringing me out. Probably things like I am feeling lazy today, the tv is showing my favorite movie, my stomach not well today, I'm half way in a game or even using others as excuses. Imagine you just stepped in the shopping complex, you are busy looking at things, walking for even less than an hour, he's there to bug until you get irritated and lost all ur moods just to get home. If not he'll just push you hard enough from behind so that you would walk faster. I tell you straight in your face, I hate all this, yes very much.
Yes, I always wish for guy to give me surprise, a guy who knew what I like from the beginning and one who pay attention to what I like. The one who'll remember what I like and giving me a surprise on special occasions. Yes you do have the heart for this but too bad it was for the wrong person, for someone that will never appreciate anything you do, or even any shit stuffs that cost hundred over from your pocket. But no, you've never once do this to me, the one who appreciate you.
For you friends will always come first no matter what, sick also can turn to no sick IF friends are the one who asked u out. While if it's to be me, I will call it play dead. Especially girl friends their always more precious to you anyhow. Or probably the two most stupid black box in the world, first namely is TV and next is the playstation which both has no brains. Or those series that you rather watch and not sleep nor spending time with me.
If all these I've mentioned above is more worthy than a person like me who had waited for you for years, the one who had done so much and hoping that you know how to appreciate all these one day, well then I'll have to say you're not the one for me.
I'm tired, I'm confused, I need a break to evaluate what I really want ... to go seek for my true happiness. To decide whether should I continue, my heart says yes, but my brain says no because it keeps telling me that the choice is in my hand, you've done enough, you've given enough all these years, you've provided enough time for him to learn to appreciate, the choice is for you to choose your own way and never listen to your heart again. It says the one to regret is not you, but it's him who have lost someone who really loves him. adv_username = "suzannetan"; adv_gid = "suzannetan_default"; adtype = "180x150";
Author **Suzanne** @ 9:32 PM
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