Susubear Little Inn: A Sense of belonging

Seeking My True Self

Monday, April 10, 2006

A Sense of belonging

What does it mean by a sense of belonging? I guess to my definition it can be said that when you are with a group of people, you feel that you are "in" that group where things they talked about you'll be interested to listen or laugh along. No sense of belonging can be define as, when you at one place or with a group of people, you just feel akward and felt that you do not belong to that group.

Well yeah, the true me is shown when I'm with my bunch of secondary mates where I crushed the crab shell like a mad women in the middle of the restaurant. Everyone was laughing as I was the one who's wearing the most decent clothes as in white skirt and pink top. They are telling me, "Oh, Suzanne ur so totally opposite from the person u're outside". Hmm I do wonder, I can be rough in the sense of playing sports, sorry guys I'm not those "Siu-Jie" and "Si-Man"type. Hit me with the ball, I smash it back on your face (Not so serious la). Scary huh ? My secondary mates would know more about that. Where the days we used to play basketball with guys (even the teacher don't allow but you think I do care?). Guys said why I always hit them or scracth them with my long nails, so they see me come they'll straight away cabut. Ask the Melati and Keruing or PBSM guys. The last time I laugh until I cry was on Shu Chuen's Waja with the Aik Jin making some weird noise beside me.

The other thing is that I always take out my shoe in class =P. Eeee I just can't stand the sticky feeling of my feet. Well secondary times are gone but I still have times where we sit at the library and start laughing at joke over "one person" claiming that he's fat and gay. "Drink more water can lose weight" - Li Shan theory. I miss going Red Box, where times I listen to Li Shan rap and May's sweet voice while the twins will be singing "Rong Shu Xia" with silent. Well in conclusion, I'm a total different person from inside. I can be crazy and all but it's all depends on the situation and people around me.-"Do Not judge the book by it's cover."

Now is 2.30AM in the morning, I am supposed to be studying my Marketing Developemtn&Planning, I mean I was studying just now. Just that there are thought coming into my mind. Well I was wondering, I really took the initiative in doing many things from small lil things that are not visible until things where we can see through our eyes. Are these being appreciate? Or did the person really did see or feel about what am I doing. How comes things that are done by friends are always more precious and being appreciated?

-There's a theory saying that you'll never know how important is something to you unless you lose it. - Quite true
- There's also a theory saying that things or should I say things that are done by a person that are harder to get will be appreciated more compare to those that we tend to think that "Oh, that's what I'm supposed to get or I deserve it". - If it's so I guess I should do less or save it for others

Take a deep breath. Forget about everything that troubles me. Just do what I've plan no matter whether izzit being appreciated anot because afterall I've done my best after that I've got nothing to be regret about. 3 AM, I better stop writting nonsense now and get into bed.
I'm so excited about OTB individual group report tomorrow. Pray hard that I'll achieve good grades.

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