Susubear Little Inn: I so hope to get what I've wished for ....

Seeking My True Self

Monday, May 12, 2008

I so hope to get what I've wished for ....

Everything seems so far away from me, everything seems so messy now .. The road in front of me is filled with doubts and anxiety, covered with a path that's filled with uncertainties ..

I do not know, but is that what every graduate will feel?

I've landed myself on the wrong path, which I'm very sure that I do not want to continue anymore. Seeking for another one is more difficult than ever ....

My heart is filled with worries, falling into the depress state which I never want to be ..
I wish there's a light guiding me to the right path as I only see dark clouds ahead of me ..

I've always wanted to fulfill that dream before I start working. Well, all I can do now is continue to suffer if I want that dream to come true. Everyday I'm telling myself, just a bit more, a few more days, a few more weeks but I find it so difficult to even drag myself up every morning. Everyday I'm staring at the calender hoping weekends and public holiday come soon. I'm not motivated, not at all ..

I tell myself to suffer a bit more, just to get that amount of money to fulfill my dream. Even how hard everyday .. I feel like ending this journey the next moment.

I do not have rich parents to supply me like you people out there, parents paying for each and single thing you want. I never blame my parents for this but I thank them for teaching me what's the valuable things in life. They thought me how to value money in life, they thought me to work hard for something I want, but not just merely sucking for their money all the time, from this I've learned to appreciate things more than ever, especially from my hardwork. So if you ever see me doubting whether to buy something in the shopping complex even as below 50, you should know why and don't rush me because I make sure I do not waste my hardwork.

I do envy those who only need to ask and their parents supply them over thousands Ks, just to fulfill whatever their child wants. You know, all I wanted is just to head to Perth for a holiday, and this already cost me alot, I need to work hard for what I want. I asked their reply would be "Dream on, where to find money?".

So this is what I've wished for ever since last year, I've even planned hoping things come true ..

I'm in deep stress mood .. so many things in my mind .. who would care to know .. who would care to acknowledge what I'm going through ..

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