Susubear Little Inn: The Unbearable Level of Stress in life

Seeking My True Self

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

The Unbearable Level of Stress in life

Just came back from church youth camp at Tapah, it was real tiring experience espcially during stream trotting. There are still scars of leaches and cuts left on my hands and legs but nothing much tough just small lil wounds. Now I'm back to the city life, back to college life, back to reality with assignemnts and exams.

First bad thing that occur today. Law result is release. Failed my 1st test badly as I'm a person that will never understand what's law trying to say there. Now 2nd test means 2nd chance. I strive real hard this time, spent 2 hours plus on sleeping before exam that day and yet I only got a pass for that particular exam which means I need more than a pass for my finals (so impossible, u expect me to write out those cases where I don't even know what they talking about?). How now? No idea. Strive harder? I've read the passage few times yet I still don't catch what it's trying to say at all.

Second, why is everyone leaving? Byebye to my college friends that are leaving for Murdoch next year which means I'll lost all my good team members. Of course losing social life at college too, not much people left to communicate with as everyone will be gone gone and gone. How am I gonna get through my group assignments, if there are only those "lazy" ones left? Sigh, good ones normally will leave for overseas to continue their studies.

Third, my dearly bf is flying off too which means another one is gone again. Well, this is really bad. Who to watch movie with for the year to come? Totally my whole social life would be gone as much close friends are flying off!! The fact is that not I'm not sociable but just that I have no friends that will ask me out. Yes I've been living my past few years of life like that, maybe that causes me to rely on him very much.

*Sob Sob* good friends leaving for Aussie, who to sing karaoke with me? Bf also going off, no more going on dating?(I'll miss you so much) I wish I could go along, I wish I do have the amount of money, just for the last semester in my studies, hoping to pursue my last half a year there. Sadly, not so wealthy people like me can't afford such expensive education unless miracles happen where suddenly someone come tell me I'll pay for your education, woah sky fall down man.

I really wish that it would happen. 1st hoping to spend my last semester there to take up subjects that are not offer here. I want to do advertising production(only available at Perth), can I just have a chance to use my creativity for once? Instead of putting it at waste for the rest of my life? 2nd hoping to spend my graduation there at the ground of Murdoch University, wearing a red colour robe with my friends, receiving the certificate from the Chansellor of university, wouldn't it be great? *Day Dreaming* - Praying hard for it to happen though.

God does wonders right? If he would give me a chance to learn to be independant, to learn about other cultures, to seek further education for subjects that are not offer here, to use my creativity just for once. Have trust in Him and it would happen. I'm still waiting for His plan for me hoping this would be a part of the plan.

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