It's all over
He had just end the 1year plus+2year plus = 3 years plus long relationship with me. Until now I still didn't manage to find out what's the reason lying behind. Could someone suddenly not love you anymore ? What will be the reason ? Most probably it's because he have someone else in mind again ?How could he forget about all the memories and every single little thing I've done for him? Don't he remember who's the one taking care of him 3days straight in the hospital? Who's the one who planned a birthday party for him? and did and bought 6 different birthday gifts on that day? That day, he was the one who gave me a kiss and told me that he was very happy about what I've done for him and what happen now ?
- He was the one begging me to get back with him. He kneel down on the knees just to hear a "I love u" from me and now he doesn't even want it anymore.
- He felt jealous when he sees me with other guys and now he don't care.
- He always wanted to hug me and held me in his arms and now he don't need it from me anymore.
- He always wanted me beside him to share his problem but now he say he can settle it by himself.
- He was the one who brought me to clinic when I'm sick and now he won't care anymore.
- He was the one who wipe off my tears when I'm crying and now I have to wipe it by myself.
- Everytime after arguing he'll put me in his arms and say sorry and now we wouldn't even be arguing.
- He used to care alot even there's a small cut on my hand and now he say it's just a small thing it doesn't matter.
- He used to put me on his shoulders when I feel sleepy but now he'll leave me alone sleeping on the seat.
- He will cover the blanket for me whenever I feel cold but now he'll only cover for himself.
- He used to hold my hand and walk around and now he purposely move his hand away from me.
- He would ask me to look into his eyes and ask me what do I see but now he can't even bother to give a look on me.
- He used to carry heavy books for me but now I guess I've gotta learn to carry it by myself.
- I used to fall asleep beside him when he's watching TV but now there's nothing left.
- We used to hold hand and walk around in the night market buying food but now we're no longer together.
- He celebrated my b'day with me last year and I know this year I would be celebrating it alone instead.
- Used to celebrating special events together but there are no events to be celebrated anymore.
- Used to play around very much but now it's impossible.
- He used to protect me from harm and now I've gotta learn to defence myself.
If I would had made the right decision last time, I wouldn't be here crying every night? How could he be so cruel ? I gave him a chance and accepted him back that time. Now I'm left alone with nothing given. I was so willingly to love him all over again that time but now he doesn't want anything from me. I was being so kind to him and what I gotten back from that is pain ...
He promise to love me and to give me a better life. This was what he used to tell me " Thinking about all the bad things I've done, memories of me and you, having to hurt you so deeply, pushing you down deep the hole, making use of you to fulfil my every needs, how follish of me, how bad of me, how I wish I could turn back the time, where you were once mine, I'd freeze the time and no one can take u away and you won't have feelings but love me forever."
And now ? it doesn't mean anything anymore cause he had decide to hurt me all over again like last time.
"Your feelings for me lightens up my days, your every words of love heals my painful moments,your very presence makes me feel ease, your touch makes me happy, embracing you brings sweet memories, I love you."
I guess he had forgotten all about what he told me, because I no longer stand a place in his heart and he don't love me anymore. adv_username = "suzannetan"; adv_gid = "suzannetan_default"; adtype = "180x150";
Author **Suzanne** @ 12:19 AM
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