Susubear Little Inn: I'm so hurt .. so hurt ..

Seeking My True Self

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

I'm so hurt .. so hurt ..

I was wondering what had I done that has made me into this kind of ending? All I did was love someone whole heartly ? Care about that person without realising that it would turn out to be controlling instead ? Why no one is willing to give me another chance ? another chance to start everything all over again ? He is not giving me any chances. I knew that break up would be soon to happen thing ... I knew that it would happen again, I knew I would end up in pain on that day I choosed to be with him. But I believe that he would change everything ... now I have to deny that human's personality is even harder than moving a mountain.

I'm very happy during this past one year ... I thought it would go on for two .. three and four.. and so on. I'm really happy... everything I went through this year. People might think that I'm just lying about my feelings just to gain the relationship back but truely no. Every happy moment I've spent with him, it's very difficult to forget. He's the only one to make me laugh when I'm down...

Now, every night there are moments are I felt that I don't even know who I'm. I don't remember anything at all. In my mind there are just questions about who I am and why am I here ... Running away from truth ? I really don't recognise myself on that moment, I was wondering why am I this person here ? and who's she ... I'm lost ...

All I ask is to be happy and to be love the one I love ... but I knew it's impossible ... I can't stop thinking of it ... help me ...

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