Susubear Little Inn: Out of Words ...

Seeking My True Self

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Out of Words ...

Stress. Imagine, you're not a law student but required to take up law subjects which incurs serious law terms exactly same with those that are studied by the law students, how much stress would it be? Excuse me, how am I supposed to know what sections are what and what, and I definitely would not use it in my future. Stupid Uni programs that requires us to take such difficult subject yet crucial. I have a legislation book here with me filled with hundred of tabs, listing all the sections. But one thing, after listing, I don't even know what section is what, so you said farney anot?

Argh. Feel like hiting my brain so hard, but it will definitely not help me in any sense of studying law. Why do I need to know what shares, dividends and directors studd when I'm a totally marketing and management student NOT a accounting student? This is ridiculous.

3A.M I'm still reading my law trying to fit it inside my brain which it will only goes in 5% among 100. Why? When you study real law then you'll know. Especially boring laws that acquires things in accounting. Conclusion? ACCOUNTING is BORING !!! Don't know how people can stand looking figures all days, sitting at the office without moving their butt, backside not pain one meh? See so much figures eyes also become like chicken eyes. Only can see from one perspective. Now I truly understand why my lecturer claimed that her accounting friends are all weird people. Seriously, PHD (Permenant Head Damage). Sorry I'm more towards an outgoing person, prefer to talk and speak, instead of sitting at office all day until backside got blister.

Why pour out such problems to me when I'm in deep ssss, no bad words, of my law exams, brain exploding, nightmares all nights, panda-eyes, whatever ! I just don't understand, nowadays is guys like what my friend claimed are totally hopeless? Shesh ... stop telling me you're leaving and all. I'm leaving for my dream career anyway after graduating. Sorry, not wanting to be call *stupid* anymore, after waking up from my long sleep since last night. No one could ever make me stay back.

New career = new life. Better I could start everything all over again from people I do not know. Working all days and nights without thinking about the past anymore. Working is the best way to forget about things you do not want to think, pushing urself to the limits.

Who cares when one claimed that you're not his/her future. Then what's the whole point of being together, I truly do not understand this philosophy. Are relationship all about playing? Sigh, do people know how pain it's to get hurt by the person you love. (Nope, people do not know until they lost something percious around them, then they might not sense the presence only till then they realise) too late.

My friend told me, "It's better that you choose to hurt someone, before that person hurts you". Does it really matters to be? My feelings are all numb since yesterday, I've change my view in many things which I do not see hope anymore. I told myself to wake up, sleeping beauty.

My words above are aimed at no one but generalise to my perspectives on my perspectives.

Somethings that are done cannot be undone. Somethings would not be change. Somethings are never meant to come true. Hoping one day someone would bring my to the beach at night lying down looking at the stars.

I listen no more about people I do not wish to hear. The more I hear the more hurt I am. This is what I felt inside.

So do I, I wished to be happy.

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