Susubear Little Inn: Can one full year be completed for once?

Seeking My True Self

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Can one full year be completed for once?

Ever since that day, about 5 years plus ago, I've fallen so deep into one. Hmm, well maybe not so deep at all since I choosed to chase the unreality F4 whom I'll only get to see but never even speak to them before.

However, till then until now, I've realise that we do not have any one single year to be completed due to many circumstances. It has been more than 5 years but not even ONE single year we're together without any separation in between. Somehow, we've agreed that it's on June 10, which was agreed on the year of 2004. Let's say what if that would be different and I did not agree upon it that time. What if I choosed over another person? Then I guess all the contents I'm typing today may be so different. Somehow, I still love my foundation year alot. Especially my friends.

One simple decision can change many things in life. One wrong decision could had made me suffer from being haunted for the rest of my life time. One person could had change so many things in his or her life. One pig and dog which will u choose? Lol, I've chosen the pig though. Don't be sensitive I'm talking about the soft toys.

I wonder, is there for once that our one year could be completed from the day we've started? I really do not know as I've seen many problem arises along all these years. But somehow we're always separated for the same one single reason. 3 times? How many more I could take? Maybe not more, as my patients has limits or maybe this me would change one day. One day may be tomorrow or ?

A gift for me on our anniversary. Last evening, I've just walk through one shop and had a glace at this beautiful star earnings. I love stars, very much =) and I said I want this. Who knows one cheated me that he's going toilet but somehow went down to get that pair of earning for me. (Left me alone there with your parents wondering what to order, so paiseh !) . The truth? I've never had such surprises before since the day I've met him. It really did touches me at the point.

Although, it was so called the 1st anniversary, but we just did not bother to celebrate anything at all but somehow if it's 1st shouldn't we make it special abit ? Lame. Hey! Aren't the guy supposed to be doing something romantic? Where's my meal at fondue house? Where's my cake? I want my gift ! One not enough, hahaha kidding.

Somehow, deep in my heart I felt something missing or I guess maybe a hole in it where it can never be filled. Even in my dreams, I see it, I sense it. A dream that explains from top to bottom whereby me and one started perfectly by having happy moments until someone came to intervene us in the middle of it. Do not ask me why, I see this in my dreams, I do not control my own dream.

Sometimes when something is enough means it's enough. There are limits. Boundaries.

Hate me. Love me. Stressed.

I'm on worldcup fever now. Love my team, England of course.

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