Susubear Little Inn: I am miserable but do not need sympathy

Seeking My True Self

Saturday, January 13, 2007

I am miserable but do not need sympathy

Before I get another XXXX situation like I had previously, I better well take it away ..

I guess I'll be fine even I'm left alone facing all things, well evertyhing around me will still remains the same and there'll still be laughters from me. The laughters and jokes seems to be more from the true side of me without having those stress I used to feel all the while.

The pain was so significant and sharp when you questioned your partner whether one has other person inside one's heart, when one answered "maybe yes, maybe no". - I really almost gave up over it, I felt that I'm worse than a beggar, begging for love, as if I'm taking a knife stabbing my own heart, I've got a choice to suffer no more, don't I?

I really wanted to get lost like how I was told. I didn't know since when caring had turned into frustrations. I doubt where do I really stand .. I questioned why I was never as well appreciated like others. But well some questions are better remain silent right inside my heart. Also, I felt I'm single now since we no longer seems like how a normal couple should be.

If you were to give me a day to remove in the calender, I would remove Febuary 14 from it. A day where I wish not to come, unless ..

"I've thrown away something right inside my hand 2years plus ago, the long walking path was the last night ever .. I'm still very uncertain." - at least, some had realise their mistake that betrayal brought him a bad ending

I no longer seek for shoulder or listener I used to have,
Soaking myself in the wet pillow every night, yet to make a right decision ..

Those who truly understands my situation will only be those who knew everything since years ago. Those who do not know what is truly happening, please do not make assumptions without evidence.

我那么的珍惜每一样你送我的东西，连枯死了的玫瑰我都不舍得丢
但我换回的却只有悲痛和无数的痛骂，珍惜这两个字是我永远都不会在他身上找到的

Labels: Feelings