Susubear Little Inn: Drowning

Seeking My True Self

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Drowning

The 1st papers I've encounter during this finals was the hardest and most difficult paper ever. I was struggling to finish up those 16Qs, I was in the midst of giving up because my hand and arms was too tired to continue. But then still, I fight till the last minute until the papers was collected.

Down with 1 and another upcoming two more which is CB and OMD. Then finally I'm off for a long break. First thing to do is go K kau kau. In the mood to sing all those sad songs as it matches what I am going through now.

Lately,
In some situations, I kept asking myself "Are u really happy girl?". I couldn't answer the question at all. Nope I am not thinking stupid because there are too many hints and syptoms which indicates a problem right behind there. Running away won't solve the problem. So well, I gotta solve it right after my exams end. Maybe I really need clear some stuffs off, or just probably be away for a while to be sure of what do I want. *Sorry, if I've vanish suddenly without telling anyone* Just don't want anything to hold me back anymore. I have something in my mind now but whether to go for long or not. (Doubts are pouring)

No I am not running away anymore, I can't think childish anymore, I've done much maybe it's time for me to pull back. No point for me begging for love like a beggar on the road, ashamed. I no longer want to see the words of claiming that I'm irritating. No longer want to be shrug off, pushed away. No longer want to be shouted right at my face. I've really seen the true colours. This is not what I want for my future. I had enough pain, really. I want a person who tolerates with me when I tolerates with him too. Relationship is a two-way interaction, no point for one party to give out so much but yet not to receive.

Sigh, I should go right? Don't wanna think anymore for now.

Anyway saw a very nice watch today, too bad I've got not enough $$ to buy it.

Got a call from casting agency today, nope it's not calling me to go for casting , lol my face like that how to go leh? Asking me to go be keh-leh-feh for a korean ad. Hopefully I get it then.

Labels: Rants